


Liberation

by FantasyImmortal



Series: Liberation Series [1]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mild Language, Minor Injuries, My First Fanfic, POV Alternating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-15 14:58:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 48
Words: 43,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9240347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantasyImmortal/pseuds/FantasyImmortal
Summary: All he's done is keep others away to protect himself. With determination will you be able to break down his walls and save him from his demons? What will become of you when his demons become your own?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First fanfic I've ever written. I am just a "for fun" writer so nowhere near that great. However if I can bring some enjoyment with my writing that'd be enough ^^. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> {Saeyoung (707/Luciel) is a character but doesn't show up too much in the beginning}

                 I sat on the cement bench outside the hospital practicing chords on my guitar before the children would show up. I looked up at the bright blue sky, closing my eyes and enjoyed the sun’s rays as they warmed my face. With it being such a nice day the doctors and nurses thought it would be a good change of pace if the children that were physically able spent some time outside. I came here frequently to sing to the children patients here. Their bright smiles always made my day.

                I smiled brightly as the children came out of hospital doors and gathered around my feet. They looked up at me with expectant eyes and clapped as I started to strum a tune. The nurses that escorted the children were soon clapping along with the beat.  Normally the smiles of the children would make me feel at peace. Today, however, there was a feeling of unease that I just couldn’t shake. Like someone was staring intently at me from somewhere.

                Singing for the children was over before I knew it and they gave me hugs and high-fives as they made their way back inside. I smiled and waved at the children that turned around at the doors. I paused, my hand frozen in midair, as a light color caught my eye. I looked up at one of the windows of the hospital.  “Hmm. I could’ve sworn someone was there just now.” I shook my head and reached down to get my guitar that was resting against the bench.

                I was placing my guitar in its case when a nurse approached me. “The children really enjoyed today. Thank you.” She said with a dazzling smile. I smiled back waving my hands in a ‘no problem’ gesture. I looked up at the empty window as she turned away. Reaching out I grabbed her shoulder.

                “Umm. I have a question…” I said releasing my grip on her shoulder. She looked at me quizzically as I pointed to the window. “Is there a patient in that room?” Her gaze followed the direction my finger indicated and my eyes widened slightly as she went a little pale. “Are you alright?” I asked worriedly as I put my hand back on her shoulder for support.

                “There is a patient there but…” She trailed off as she shrugged my hand away. “I suggest just staying away from that room, maybe even that floor entirely.” I stood still in slight shock as she raced back into the hospital.

                _Well that was weird._ I thought to myself as I slung the guitar case strap over my shoulder. I took a few steps towards the doors before turning to look back at the window again. “I know now it wasn’t my imagination that someone was there. I wonder who could creep the nurses out like that.” Turning back to the doors I resumed my walk, picking up my pace slightly as I felt that uneasy feeling again.

                The next day I walked up the steps to the hospital entrance, shaking the rain off my umbrella once I made it to the overhang. I sighed as the entrance doors opened. “So much for being outside again. Started off as such a nice day too.” Collapsing my umbrella I stuffed it in a plastic bag and put it in my pack. Taking a few steps inside I noticed that the staff was all up in a tizzy about something.

                “Oh _____, you’re here?” I turned in the direction my name was called from. A nurse hurried up to me. “I’m sorry we may have to cancel today.” I furrowed by brows in confusion, but before I could ask why she left me standing there.

                “What’s going on?” I asked the woman behind the reception desk. Her gaze shot in every direction like she was trying to come up with something do to avoid answering me. I turned my back to her to look around for a minute and was about to ask again but was interrupted when a couple approached me.

                “Excuse us! You’re that girl that plays for the kids aren’t you?” The woman of the couple reached out frantically, holding my hands in between hers. I nodded and squeaked out a ‘yes’ as her hands tightened their grip on mine. Her features seemed to relax at my confirmation of her question. She looked up at me, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.  “Please,” she barely spoke above a whisper. “Please come sing for our son! He’s always loved your music.” My heart broke as the tears she was trying so hard to hold back spilled down her cheeks.

                I smiled and rearranged our hands so I held hers instead. “Of course I’ll play for him.” She bowed her head and placed her forehead against the back of my hands and repeated thank you after thank you. I stood there in silence as her partner walked up and put his hands lovingly on her shoulders as the shuddered. Once she gained some composure she righted herself and I followed the couple to their son’s room.

                Walking into the room I recognized the little boy. Due to an illness involving his lungs he wasn’t always able to join the other children in the group to hear the music I played. Whenever he was able to join everyone he was always one of the biggest smiles in the group. He told me once he wanted to sing like I did but that future wasn’t looking too bright for him, but it didn’t seem to slow him down. He sleepily opened his eyes and they lit up when they rested on me. His parents urged me to sit in the chair next to him. They stood at the foot of his hospital bed holding each other as they watched his expression brighten as I took my guitar out of its case.  “What would you like to hear?” Strumming a few times I waited for his response.

               “Something upbeat.” He said in a timid voice. Smiling I knew the song it was, he always wanted me to play it. He clapped along happily with the beat as I started singing. When I strummed the last chord he smiled the biggest I’ve ever seen him smile. A nurse then walked in with a smile of her own and told us that that was enough excitement for him for the moment. I packed up my guitar and looked at him before standing up. He wasn’t looking at me but his hand was held up in the air. Chuckling slightly I gave him a small high five.

              “I’ll get better and will sing along one day!” He said as I reached for the door. I looked back at him, he held the sheets tightly in his fists. “Get better so I can sing along with you instead.” I replied back to him. His eyes widened as tears spilled down his cheeks and he nodded as if now determined to reach that goal. His parents walked me out into the hallway and wholeheartedly thanked me before returning to their son’s room.

               I walked down the hall and stopped to look outside to see that status of the weather. The sky was black and lightning streaked angrily across the sky. A moment later the power had flickered and the safety lights turned on as the power went out. Nurses scurried through the hall as they checked on each patient. “Can’t really go home in this weather,” I said looking out the window again before continuing down the hallway. “The lobby would be the best place to wait so I’m out of everyone’s—“

              A door slid open and a hand clap over my mouth as one snaked around me and pulled me into a room. I struggled against the person who grabbed me but the held me tighter to the point of it almost being painful. I shivered as someone breathed in my ear. “Your happiness disgusts me.”


	2. Chapter 2

                Fear gripped at my heart as I reached up and tried to pull the hand away from my mouth.  The man laughed and added more pressure to my mouth. _I have to do something! If he puts anymore pressure I won’t be able to breath._ Adjusting my grip I dug my nails into his hand as hard as I could. His breath hitched in pain and his grip loosened slightly. With the open opportunity I jabbed my elbow into his ribs as best as I could. He took a step back holding his side. As if in a typical horror movie, lightning illuminated the room as he looked up through his bangs at me. My breath caught in my throat at the searing anger in his eyes. As he took a step towards me, I turned and ran out of the room.  Adrenaline coursed through me as his laughter seemed to follow me down the hall. 

                I raced through the halls and through the lobby, not stopping until I was out of the hospital. Holding my hand to my chest I tried to calm my racing heart. As if mirroring my emotions a cold wind blew under the overhang cooling my flushed cheeks. “What was that guy’s problem?!” I clenched my fists at my side and watched the rain slowly die down. With the rain dying down to a light sprinkle, while the sky was still dark I hugged my jacket to me and began running in the direction of my home. 

I swung my front door open and slammed it shut against the howling wind. Placing my guitar against the wall and hanging up my bag I sighed. _Your happiness disgusts me._ I shuddered uncontrollably as I remembered his words. As if in a daze I stripped my damp clothes and took a warm shower. Sitting on the couch I toweled my hair dry while watching the trees outside move at the mercy of the wind.

Tilting my head back I looked at the ceiling and sighed. “Why do I feel guilty? I mean he attacked me first.” Getting up to go make a hot drink I glanced at my guitar. _Maybe he has something against music?_ Shaking my head I tried to get him out of my mind. “This is ridiculous I have no reason to feel guilty! I was defending myself.” Groaning I redirected my steps towards my room and tumbled onto my bed. With a troubled heart I closed my eyes and drifted into unconsciousness.

                                                                *************************

I looked out the window feigning boredom as my brother sat in the corner of the room his face looking at a video game screen. It pisses me off that he comes here constantly. Everything is his fault, why can’t he just leave me alone. He just sits there quietly not saying a word. I steal a glance his way and glared at him as he looked up from his game.

“Wanna play?” He says with a smile. I clenched my fists at his happy attitude. “It’s really fun.” I grit my teeth and look away from him. _Why can’t he just get the fuck out?!_ I clench my fists tighter, digging my nails into the palms of my hands as I hear him take a few steps towards me.

I slapped the game out of his hands as he reached it out to me and the screen cracked as it clattered on the floor. “Get. OUT!” I don’t have to look at him to now that he looks upset. Good. He deserves it anyways. He bends down to pick up the game and leaves without another world. I smile to myself as I watch him leave, his shoulders slightly slumped. As he closed the door I faintly caught the doctors talking about forcing medication on me again.

Sighing I look down at the palm of my hand and look at the crescent shaped marking my nails left. Turning my hand over I see the markings that girl left on me. The dried blood flaked off as it rubbed my fingers against them. I laughed to myself as I recalled the fear in her eyes before she ran out of the room.

                I looked out the window again and looked down at the bench where those kids gathered around her. Their smiles as they looked up at her angered me beyond the smiles my brother gave me. What stupid children to think that the world is that easy. I looked down at the dried blood at my hand again. “Hahahahaha. She looked really scared.” I smiled feeling very amused as I looked back out the window where she sat. “She won’t be back. Not after the fear I saw on her face.”


	3. Chapter 3

                Waking up with a start I pressed a hand to my sweat-drenched forehead. Sitting up slowly I toke some deep breaths. “That man’s eyes…” Whispering I reached for my phone to check the time. “Five in the morning, huh?” I swung my feet off the bed and stood up. Walking to the bathroom and peeled my sweat-soaked clothes from my body and stepped into the shower. Standing in the stream of hot water my mind returned to that man. Recalling the anger in his eyes I froze up for a minute. _Why do they have such a dangerous patient there? He should’ve at least been restrained to the bed._

                After getting dressed I wrapped my hair in a towel. I looked over at my guitar and sighed. “I’m supposed to go the hospital today but I don’t feel like I can.” I said to the empty room. Feeling defeated I slumped onto the couch. “I could just call and say I’m sick….But then all those kids would be disappointed.” Sighing I lazily got up and walked to the kitchen to get breakfast. Sitting at the table I casually flipped through the social media on my phone while munching on cereal. “I could still go. I mean, it’s not like I’m going to be up on that floor again anyways.”

                Placing the empty cereal bowl in the sink I dropped the spoon into the bowl. As it clinks against the ceramic I cover my mouth with my hand. I look out the window above the sink and watched as the sun began to rise. “I can’t let the kids down.” With determination I picked up my guitar and started practicing new songs to play for the kids later that day.

                “Even after all that nasty weather yesterday it turned into a very beautiful day today.” Taking a deep breath of fresh air I began my walk to the hospital. I wasn’t going to let that man scare me. I have a passion and I wasn’t going to lose who I was because of him. I slowed my pace slightly as the hospital came into view. I paused and looked up at the building. Gripping the strap of my bag I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders. Despite my racing heart I held my head up and walked in through the hospital entrance.

                I was immediately greeted by a nurse that almost always escorted the kids. “_____. It’s unusual for you to come three days in a row.” She toned down her smile, her expression starting to reflect concern. “Is everything okay?” She asked worriedly as she put a hand on my shoulder.

                Smiling and nodded I replied, “Everything is fine. I’ve just been getting more inspiration here recently.” Her smile automatically returned to its original luster. “I know it’s still a little early for the children to be about but would it be ok if I went and practiced some?” She gave an encouraging nod before being called away for a patient.

                I stood in front of the bench where I first felt that man’s menacing stare. I glanced up at the window where I thought I had first seen someone. “No one’s there right now.” I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. I balled my fists and forced myself to sit down on the bench, this time facing the window. I began to unpack my guitar while ‘Oh God, what am I doing?!’ kept repeating over and over my head.

                I hadn’t strummed two chords before I felt a familiar gaze on me. Feeling uncomfortable I tried not to squirm and kept my gaze down at my hands, which trembled slightly as I continued to play. “Don’t look…don’t look…don’t look,” I whispered to myself trying to steel my nerves. _It was a mistake to face his direction_. I tightly closed my eyes and took some deep breaths.

                Hearing the sounds of happy children I looked over in their direction. I waved and smiled happily in greeting as they made their way towards me. Briefly forgetting my anxiety I looked up at the window and locked eyes with him. My smile immediately faded as his glare seemed to get more intense and his lip raised slightly in a sneer. It was almost as if we were having a staring contest, neither one of us wanting to lose.

                “……._____?” I felt a tug on my arm. “Miss _____?” Shaking my head slightly I blinked and looked away from him and looked down at the worried looks of the children. My body twitched slightly as I thought I heard a faint laugh. Feeling like the intensity of his glare subsided I squared my shoulders and began playing for the kids. However it didn’t take long for the feeling to return.

As usual the gathering ended after a few songs and the kids gave hugs and high-fives as they left to go back to their rooms. It felt like the man stared at me the entire time. Laying the guitar across my lap I sighed. “I’m surprised I’m not dead right now with how hard he was staring.” I refused to look back up at the window, knowing he was still there. “He should just take a picture it’ll last longer!” I quickly clapped a hand over my mouth and looked up as I heard a cup clatter on the ground.

Once again our eyes locked. The look of shock on his face quickly faded and returned to his original heated stare before he moved away from the window. “Ha! I win this round!” I said holding a fist up triumphantly. I packed my guitar away and leaned it against the bench. I looked at the plastic cup on the ground and walked over to it. “I can’t just leave it here.” Bending down to pick it up I felt cold liquid being poured on me before another cup hit me. Reflexively looking up I saw him smiling evilly back down at me.

Straightening up I went and collected my things and walked back into the hospital. Ignoring all the looks of confusion at my now partially damp hair, I walked to the elevator and pressed the button for his floor. Trying to keep my cool I stepped off the elevator and continued towards where his room was. I walked by a man talking to a doctor and had to pause and turn around to get another look. Shaking my head I continued to my destination.

“What the hell is your problem?!” I yelled roughly sliding the door to his room open. Taking a few steps into the room I put my stuff down and pointed at him. “I have done NOTHING to you! Whereas you’ve attacked me, glared daggers at me, and now this!” I yelled point to my hair. His indifferent stare just further pissed me off and I walked up to him and stood in front of him as he lounged on his bed.

                I was about to open my mouth again when he held up his hand in silence. Clamping my mouth shut I saw the red marks where I had dug my nails into him. My anger diminished exponentially and I took a step back as he placed his feet on the floor. “Umm…right well, I’m sorry about that but…You deserved it for attacking me in the first place!” Holding up my hands as if in defense I continued to step back.

                Reaching out he grabbed one of my wrists and swung me around and slammed me against the wall. My ears rung as I gritted my teeth against the pain that shot through my body. Pinning my arms against the wall and stared at me. I looked into his eyes which were devoid of any emotion but hatred and anger. “I-I’m not scared of you.” I squeaked out. His hands roughly slid down my arms and came to rest around my neck.

                There was no real pressure but he leaned in menacingly. “You should be.” He whispered into my ear. I couldn’t see his eyes but his smile made my heart sink. Adjusting his hands I gasped at the sudden pain I felt at the nape of my neck. He pulled away suddenly and I ran my fingers over the spots of pain. Feeling a warm and sticky substance I looked at my fingers and my eyes widened when I saw they were lightly covered in blood. Grabbing my wrist again he forced me out of his room. “Payback. Now get lost!” I was barely able to catch my things before they hit the ground and I flinched as he slammed the door shut. Feeling like I had just been played with, like a cat with a mouse, I stared quietly at the closed door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran POV

                Silence hung in the room as my brother sat in the corner playing his games again. _Why couldn’t he just leave me the fuck alone?_ Regardless of anything I would say he always showed up anyways. His silence, like his very existence, caused anger to boil inside me. I was about to yell at him to get out when movement outside my window caught my eye. Surprised outweighed my anger for a moment when I realized it was that same girl. Clenching my fist I looked down at the injury she left. I bit down on the inside of my cheek to keep from chuckling. Any noise of amusement would draw my brother’s attention and that was the utmost last thing I ever wanted.

                Looking back out the window, the woman surprised me again. She didn’t sit with her back to me this time. I found amusement in the fact that she tried her hardest to not look up in my direction. I watched her intently as she began to strum her guitar. _What a stupid girl._ I felt the corners of my lips twitching but forced back the smile. To be honest it would’ve been really boring if she never showed up again.

                My stomach recoiled in disgust as the smiling children started to show up. I rolled my eyes in annoyance at the warm smile she gave them. Whether she forgot herself or just felt more comfortable with her surroundings she looked up at me and our eyes locked. I raised an eyebrow at her clear determination to not break eye contact. The children started to pull at her and she focused her attention back to them. I let out a chuckle then cursed myself when my brother looked up from his game.

                “Saeran?” He sat up in his chair looking sickeningly happy. He started to get up and walk over to me, obviously curious at what could’ve caused my outburst of emotion. “Get away from me,” I spat back at him causing him to stop in his tracks. Looking discouraged he sat back down but kept glancing my way.

                I grabbed the plastic cup sitting next to me and began to sip at the contents inside. I knew that it wasn’t medicated because he wouldn’t allow them to force medicate me. I looked back out the window and saw that the kids had left and she was just sitting there. I leisurely rested my elbow on the windowsill and continued to stare at her. ‘He should just take a picture, it’ll last longer!’ The strength in her words gave me slight shock and I lost my grip on the cup.

                I ignored my brother as he quickly got up to replace the drink. “How annoying,” I said to myself as I locked eyes with the girl again. I forced myself to look at her in hatred to cover up the shock her words gave me. My brother rushed back in with a new cup I was forced to break away this time. He put the cup down and was about to say something when, thankfully, a doctor knocked on the door and wanted to speak with him. Paying him no more mind I ignored him as he looked over his shoulder at me.

                Grabbing the new cup I looked out the window and saw her walking towards the one I dropped. Knowing I was now alone I smiled openly as I pour the new cup’s contents out the window on top of her and for added measure dropped that cup as well. Keeping my smile I looked down at her as she glared up at me before standing up and gathering her things, leaving both cups behind. “What fun, and here I thought I would be bored staying at this retched place.” Turning my back to the window and crossed my arms. “I will break you.” I whispered, looking over my shoulder and watching her vanish from my sight.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Saeran this chapter...sorry everyone!!

                I walked home in a daze. Dropping my things at the door I dragged my feet to the couch and sat down with a heavy thud. Staring at the wall I ran my fingers over the marks he made at the back of my neck. Wincing, I pulled my fingers back to make sure it didn’t start bleeding again. “Surely I didn’t get him that bad.” Rubbing my fingers together as if they were covered in blood, I sighed. “Then again he really did scare me so I might have put more force behind it than I thought.”

                The pinging from my phone, which was signaling an email, pulled me from my thoughts. The email was my “boss” wondering where my work was and she didn’t sound too happy either. Music had been my passion for as long as I could remember and at some point I started writing lyrics just for the fun of it. I had never thought that posting some on my social media would bring me the attention that it has. I wasn’t necessarily contracted with anyone in particular but I was blessed enough to write and compose as I saw fit and sent demos to what you could say were clients.

                My “boss” just happened to be my trusted friend Airi, who I had known since childhood. She handled all the paperwork and figuring out who to send the demos too. She was better at the filing and I was better with the music, so we decided to tag-team. I was perfectly fine not being in too far in the spotlight for the time being. I enjoyed doing things leisurely and, for the most part, at my own pace. Though with going to the hospital three days in a row I haven’t done any work, which was a problem. Not only was my income based on myself but, for the most part, Airi’s was too. Sending a quick apology email back to her I took out my pen and notebook and began scribbling random sentences for inspiration.

                After about an hour I noticed that I had only written one or two sentences and the rest were just little doodles. For the first time in a long time I couldn’t come up with anything. I was stuck. Sighing I looked over the doodles and my heart skipped a beat when I realized that one of them was an intense looking eye. “Oh no! Don’t think so!” Quickly ripping the page out of the notebook, I balled it up and threw it over my shoulder. “I can’t believe I drew that.” I whispered. “Why would I try to draw _anything_ having to do with him?” I anxiously started to tap my pen on the paper.

                After a few minutes I looked back at the paper I had balled up while running my fingers along the back of my neck. “It’s no knight in shining armor situation but it could probably work.” Looking at the clean sheet of paper, and with him in mind, my hand flew across the page and before I knew it a rough draft was made. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly I held up with rough lyrics. “Part of me hopes this doesn’t work because then, morally, I’ll have to thank him.” Closing the notebook and flopped back on the couch I stretched out.

               Looking up at the ceiling I thought of him. I was starting to feel conflicted. Despite him oozing a very sadistic vibe I wanted to know what his story was. I didn’t really seem like he got any visitors, but then again, who would be able to walk into his room and not turn right back around? “Maybe he’s angry because no one cares he’s there? Or maybe he just doesn’t have anyone in the first place.” I asked question after question to the emptiness of the room before my eyelids grew too heavy to keep open.

               I groaned and blinked quickly against the sunlight that poured over my face. Sitting up I stretched out my aching body. “Probably shouldn’t have fallen asleep on the couch last night.” I reached my hands to the ceiling as I stood up to stretch out my back. Yawning I reached for my phone to check my email. “Oh good. She’s not as mad as I thought she was.” To keep Airi from getting to that point I sent a quick message saying that lyrics were rough and I would start the music for them today. In the process of putting my phone down a reply immediately came through. ‘Good! Get to it!’ I laughed at her short reply. Short and to the point, that was Airi in a nutshell.

               I walked to the kitchen to make some coffee and a piece of toast. Cup of coffee and notebook in hand and toast held between my teeth, I walked to my music room. Opening the door my shoulders feel. “Oh yeah, I was supposed to clean up.” Juggling the coffee I cleared enough table space to put it down before clearing the scattered pages off my keyboard. I sat down while gliding my fingers across all the keys. I wished it wasn’t so heavy so that I could play this for the kids as well.

               Looking over the lyrics again I started to play some random keys to figure out the tone I would put them to. Feeling excited about figuring out a beat right away I quickly got some blank music sheets and began scribbling away. Nodding to myself while humming the tune my hands switch back and forth from playing the keys to writing the notes. It was going so well that I had forgotten about the coffee and toast completely.

              The hours passed quickly and the room started to a pinkish-orange. My stomach growled loudly as I looked at the time. “Oops. I got away with myself. Sorry tummy,” I said sympathetically as I rubbed it. The music was almost done. My fingers screamed in protest as I picked up my still full coffee cup. “I suppose I could leave it at that today, but I will finish the music and send the demo to Airi and see what she thinks.” Looking out the window in the hallway I watched the sun set. _I wonder if he was curious where I was today._ “Not that I’m curious if he was or not,” I said shaking my head while heading toward the kitchen.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Saeran again....Sorry everyone!! He's in the next chapter though!

             The next day passed without any complications and I was now waiting for Airi at a casual bar not far from my residence. I held a glass of iced water in my hands, enjoying the cooling effect against my skin. “I should’ve taken small breaks to give my fingers a rest.” Removing my hands from the cup I opened and closed them over and over again.

            “Worked them to the bone again did you?” I looked up as Airi sat down across from me in the small booth. “Well, let’s see whatcha got!” She frantically held out her hands to me almost shaking in anticipation. I handed over the disk as well as a copy of the lyrics. She quickly opened and skimmed through them. Her eyes widened slightly before she looked at me. “You have a copy of the tune, right? You didn’t forget it this time?” Laughing I held out my iPod to her. Practically bouncing in her seat she put the ear buds in and began to listen while looking over the lyrics.

            I waited patiently for her to finish. Closer her eyes she took a deep breath and slammed her hands on the table, which in turn scared me. “This is amazing!” She screamed. “Did you meet someone or something?” She asked leaning forward and talking in a much lower octave. Almost spitting out the sip of water I just took I looked at her dumbfounded.

           “What are you talking about?” I asked back reflexively running a hand over the back of my neck making sure my hair was covering what I didn’t want seen. “Why would you ask that so suddenly? They’re along similar lines to the last ones I sent you.”

           Raising her eyebrow and pursing her lips she looked me up and down. “Hmm, I don’t know. These seem a bit more…” While she juggled her hands in the air looking for the right words I tried not to think of him. Sure I thought of him while writing it but _that’s_ what she got from it? Something sexual? With _him?_ No, no, no, and no. I mean he’s so violent and mean spirited. I looked up when I realized she was staring at me. “Uh huh.” She said with knowing smile. “You don’t have to tell me about it now but I expect details later, missy!”

          “There’s nothing to tell!” I retorted almost immediately. With a laugh she packed the demo and lyrics into her bag before getting up. With a wave of her hand and a ‘sure, if you say so look’ she left the bar. Sitting there I stared at the ice floating in the glass. Feeling a bubble of emotion I started laughing out of nowhere. I clapped my hand over my mouth as the other patrons in the bar looked over at me with nervous looks.  Wanting to get away from their stares I quickly got up, sorted out the bill, and left.

          I didn’t stop my quick pace until I was behind the closed doors of my home. Holding my face in my hands I leaned back against the door. I started giggling again. “There’s….There’s no way…” I said between fits of laughter. “I’m not a masochist. There’s just no way there’s attraction there.” Sighing I slid down to a sitting position. “Either way I will need to go see him, even if just to say thank you for the song inspiration….which was _not_ sexual in any way!” I said trying to validate it. “After that I don’t have to see him again if I don’t want to.” Nodding my head once as if finalizing my statement I got up and got ready for bed.

         The following day I stopped at a convenience store and bought two drinks, one sour and one sweet. He could pick which one he wanted and I’d just take the other, or he could just take both. I paused my walk and opened the bag, looking at the contents inside. “Why do I feel so nervous? It’s just a thank you…when randomly showing up…unannounced.” My shoulders slumped slightly and I continued walking.

        Walking into the hospital I kept my face downcast to avoid too much attention. I shouldn’t be too hard to hide from familiar faces considering I hadn’t brought my guitar this time. Walking swiftly but carefully I breathed out in relief as the doors to the elevator closed. “Almost finished, just have to say thanks then leave. I can do that.” My grip tightened on the arms of the plastic bag as the elevator dinged, signaling my designated floor. Feeling a little unsteady on my feet I walked slowly down the hall, stopping in front of his door. Keeping my gaze downward I took a deep breath to gather courage before lightly knocking on the door.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran POV

                Opening my eyes slowly I looked up at the ceiling. Pressing a hand to my forehead I closed my eyes again. She didn’t show up the past few days. _Why do I even care?_ Pushing people away was my only comfort. Anger kept people away which protected myself. I held up my hand and looked at the marks she had left, they were fading but still there. Laughing I remember the flash of anger I saw on her face the other day. It was rather amusing. She still backed away slightly but there was a defiant feel about her that both irritated and intrigued me.

                Sitting up I pressed both palms to my head as a painful pulsing reverberated throughout. Memories of my past came to me in flashes. The constant torture from my mother. My brother leaving me to suffer it all alone so he could escape and be happy himself. The wasted moments holding onto the thought that he still cared and would save me.

Push them all away, that’s what I have to do. I physically injured her. To keep her away, or to break her down like me? Looking up I saw that the therapist had arrived. Rolling my eyes I looked away as he sat down and stared at me. No one here listens. I don’t want treatment of any kind. It’s all a falsehood of compassion. I didn’t want any part of their lying smiles.

                “Did you sleep well?” The therapist asked after a few minutes of silence. How infuriating. Breaking the ice, as they say, with a stupid question like that. I have nothing to do but sleep in this room. This place is boring. I small smile played at my lips as an image of that woman’s angered face flashed through my mind. “Something funny, Mr. Choi.”

                _Is something funny?_ “Yes,” I said glaring at him. “Your piss poor joke of showing up here again.” I watched with indifference as he squirmed in his chair and cleared his throat. Why can’t anyone get the fact through their head that I don’t want any treatments? The world is just that stupid, I see. Everyone out for their own self agenda. Not caring what others may want or say.

                “What is on your mind right now?” The man said readying his pen to the pad of paper. Is he expecting me to talk just because he’s here again? What a joke. He watched in silence as I got up off the bed and stood there. “You can talk about anything you want to.”

                “GET OUT!” I yelled as I lunged at him. The chair clunked to the floor as his head his head hit the side of the table. Nurses and doctors rushed into the room and pulled me off him before I got my hands around his neck. Restraining me two other nurses helped the therapist up and leaded him outside blood dripping down from the side of his head. “Leave me alone!” I yelled at the remaining staff, ripping my arms out of their restraining grips.

                “Saeran!” _Dammit, why is he here now?!_ The nurses and doctors tried to block my brother from coming near me. “Please just let me talk to him!” He pushed through them and stood in front of me. He waited until the staff left before taking another step toward me. “Saeran…”

                “Shut up!” I reached out and grabbed fistfuls of his clothes and forcefully pulled him towards me. “All of this is your fault! You ruined my life! I can’t stand the fact that I look like you! Everything about how I look reminds me of you!” My grip tightened on his clothes and I shook him slightly. “Looking like you is the worst fate I could’ve ever gotten!” His stance faltered slightly as I pushed him away from me.

                “Don’t say that, brother, please.” His voice quivered with emotion. I clenched my fists at my sides refusing to look at the saddened expression on his face. _I will not be swayed by your sympathy._ Without another word he turned and left the room. This is how I wanted it. Distance. I’ll be protected this way. I picked up the knocked over chair, sat down, and looked out the window at the bright blue sky.


	8. Chapter 8

                After waiting a few seconds I gently opened the door to his room.  I barely two steps into the room before a cup flew past my face and clattered onto the floor. “What the hell?!” I looked down at the cup before looking up at him. His eyes widened slightly before he looked away with indifference. “That’s really rude to do you know.” I said bending down to pick up the cup and put it on the table. I placed my bag and the bag from the convenience store next to the cup, being careful not to turn my back to him.

                “Nice necklace.” He said casually without looking at me. Absentmindedly I brought my hand to the choker-like necklace had I put on before leaving the house. I fisted my hand at my side and released it after taking a deep breath.

                “Gee...I wonder what could’ve possibly happened to make me have to wear it.” I told him sarcastically. While keeping an eye on him I turned slightly and took the two drinks out of the bag. “Anyways,” I started, while taking smile steps towards him. “I am—“

                “Why are you even here?” He blurted out, still not looking my way.

                “I was getting to that before you interrupted.” I snapped. Slightly sitting up from his position on the bed he looked back at me. Sitting in a chair across from him I held out the drinks. “Pick one. I didn’t know what you liked so I got one sweet and one sour.”

                “I don’t drink for cans.” He looked at the drinks before looking up at me skeptically. Trying to keep the control of the small temper boiling in me, I put both drinks on the side table and stood up. Practically stomping out of the room, I heard his laugh following me.

                Stepping back into the room I practically slammed the door shut. Walking back over to the chair I placed the new cup onto the table by the drinks. “Now, pick one.” I said crossing my arms. He looked between the drinks and me.  It quickly turned into one of our staring contests. I started to tap my foot and glared at him slightly. Whether he was shocked I would look at him that way, I couldn’t say, but he blinked. “Ha! I win!” Childishly, I pointed a finger at him. “Now, pick one.”

                “Sweet,” he said quietly as he looked away from me. When he made no move to open it, I sighed and picked up the drink. It made a little _pssh_ noise when the seal broke. I waited a few seconds to make sure it wasn’t going to fizz over the rim before carefully pouring some of it in the cup.

                I glanced over at him as the cup gradually filled. “You know, I don’t even know your name.” I saw him flinch slightly as if I had slapped him and his hair fell in front of his eyes so I couldn’t see his expression. I was taken aback when he told me that I could’ve just checked his file by the door. Placing the now half empty can down, I glanced towards the door. “Well yeah, I could’ve done that.” I leaned against the back of the chair. “But that would’ve been rude to do. I’m not a doctor nor family so I have no right to look.”

                I flinched as his face snapped in my direction. He looked at me with very intense eyes. They weren’t angry, but I couldn’t figure out what emotion they expressed exactly. “Saeran…” he said after a long pause. _He didn’t yell, I suppose that’s progress._ I smiling slightly to myself, I hadn’t noticed that he was eyeing the cup uneasily.

                “So, Saeran--” In a flash he had grabbed the cup and pulled a leg of the chair up so it tilted back. Instinctively I reached out and grabbed his shirt to keep from falling backwards. He held my jaw in one hand exerting enough pressure to make me open my mouth. Bringing the cup to my lips he forced me to drink the contents.

                Letting me go after the cup was empty he took a step back and the chair righted itself. I held a hand to my throat as I coughed through the bubbling sensation of the carbonation. “What was that for?!” I gritted out. Ignoring me he looked at the bottom of the cup. “And here I thought I was making progress.” I whispered. I could feel tension descend upon the room and I glanced up at him, his eyes angry again.

                Dropping the cup he reached out and grabbed a fistful of my hair, forcibly pulling it he forced me to fully face him. “What do you mean progress?” He said with a sneer. Kicking the chair out from underneath me he hovered over me menacingly. Tears welled up in my eyes as he pulled harder at my hair. “Answer me!” The fingers of his other hand snaked around my throat.

                “It didn’t seem like you really had visitors.” I put both my hands around his wrist to keep him for putting any pressure on my neck. “I figured you might be lonely and that’s why you lashed out at people so much.” He pulled me up higher and I stood on my toes to try to alleviate some of the pain from my hair being pulled. I wanted to fight back but I didn’t want to take two steps back from the progress I’ve made. We actually had a moment without any yelling or glaring, however brief. That was progress right?

                He brought his face close to mine and I felt he breath against my face. “Whether I get them or not that is none of your business!” Squinting through the pain I looked up at him. His features were twisted in anger and anguish, and my heart went out to him. “Don’t look at me like that!” He screamed, slightly tightened his fingers around my throat.

                “I’m sorry,” I whispered. I didn’t know what had happened to him in his past and I’m sure my words seemed hollow to him, but I just felt the need to say something. He let go of my throat and pressed his hand to his head. Without thinking I reached out a hand and began to pet his head comfortingly. I felt his fingers in my hair twitch.

                His breath hitched and my hand paused on top of his head. “Get out.” He said in a frighteningly low voice before throwing me away from him. I sat on the floor and stared at him, my heartbeat drumming loudly in my ears. “I said get out.” That low, calm voice he used was actually more frightening than his yelling. He turned away from me his fists shaking at his sides.

                Quickly but quietly I grabbed the bags and rushed out of the room. I wasn’t going to get anywhere else today. I kept my gaze on the floor as I walked down the hallway while rubbing the back of my head to ease some of the pain. Bumping into someone I blurted out a quick apology without looking up. I hadn’t realized that the person I had bumped into had watched me leave Saeran’s room and watched me get onto the elevator.


	9. Chapter 9

                That night I tossed and turned in bed with no hint that I’d get any sleep. Sighing, I draped my arm over my eyes, images of Saeran running through my mind. He was in pain and no one really seemed to care how he wanted to handle it. Everyone pushed their own ways on him. The anguish I saw in his face caused my eyes to well up with tears. I still couldn’t understand why but I really wanted to help him. No one deserved to feel alone in the world. Closing my eyes I willed myself to sleep.

 

                A few hours later I collected my things and started my walk to the hospital. Today I’d be playing for the kids again. I walked by the convenience store I had stopped at yesterday. Pausing I looked back over my shoulder at the store. He may not want to see me but I could still get him something again. Turning on my heels I walked into the convenience store.

                “Sweet stuff…sweet stuff.” Already carrying the sweet drink I had gotten yesterday I wandered down the aisle with all the candy and cookies. Hospital food wasn’t always the best so maybe he’d like something to eat too. Tapping a finger against my lips I looked at the choices. “I could just pick and choose a few, but I have no idea what kind of food he really likes.”

                Feeling the presence of someone next to me I looked over at them. The man looked straight ahead at the products on the shelf while playing with the cord of his headphones. “Ice cream.” He said smiling over at me before reaching out to grab a candy bar and turned to head to the register. Confused, I watched him as he walked away.

                “Ice cream?” I repeated as I turned around and look down the aisle at the freezers. Curiously, I walked down the aisle I stopped in front of all the ice cream. It certainly seemed like he was talking to me and, even though he looked familiar, I don’t remember ever meeting him. “It’s worth a shot I suppose.” Reaching in, I grabbed a plain vanilla ice cream bar, then proceeded to the register. Even though the cashier wrapped the ice cream in a special paper to keep it cold for a longer period of time I picked up my pace just in case.

I walked into an elevator and one of the kid’s nurses jumped in before the doors closed. I my smiled faded as she looked down at the plastic bag I held and then at me. “______, I’m worried about you.” She said looking away, twiddling her fingers.

                “Why are you worried?” I asked already knowing why. After going to Saeran’s room a few times the staff was bound to notice. It was only a matter of time before I was approached by someone. With how intimidating he was and how nervous she was, I couldn’t help but think she drew a short straw.

                “Well I mean you’ve been going to that man’s room a lot.” She squeaked out her gaze darting everywhere to avoid looking at me. “We’re just worried about you. He’s so violent.” The elevator dings, and the doors open.

                “I’ll be ok.” Stepping out I turned around and smiled at her. She faintly smiled back before slumping her shoulders and pressing the button to force close the elevator doors.  Feeling a little dismissed I walked down the hall.

On the way to his room I got the attention of a nurse I asked for a cup. Peeking into his room it looked like he was laying down and facing the wall. Juggling the items in my hand I quietly opened the door. Poking my head inside to make sure he hadn’t moved I softly stepped inside and placed the items I bought him on the table by the door. Reaching into my bag, I looked for a scrap piece of paper and a pen. After a few seconds of blind searching I found a small piece of paper I quickly wrote ‘Sorry Saeran’ on it before placing it by the ice cream and left his room to go get ready to play for the children.


	10. Chapter 10

            After I finished playing for the kids and putting the guitar back in its case, I looked up at Saeran’s window. Usually I felt him staring at me, however today, I didn’t feel it at all. “I wonder if he ate the ice cream or not.” It was a really weird feeling not having him stare at me from his window. I wouldn’t say I missed it but something just felt off about it. Placing my hands on the bench I leaned back slightly and tapped my feet on the ground. After a few minutes I sighed, stood up, and gathered my things.

           Walking home I had a deep sense of unease that I just couldn’t shake, and it just seemed to get worse the further away from the hospital I got. Stepping inside my home I placed the guitar against the wall and sighed again. My feet felt like they were stuck in cement and too heavy to move inside any further. “I wanted to apologize face to face but he probably wouldn’t want to see me.” Locking the door from the inside I spun around and slammed it shut. “Even so, I can’t shake this uneasy feeling.” I headed back to the hospital in a full sprint.

          Once into the hospital I walked as fast as I could to get to his room. Looking in through the window I noticed a man sitting in a chair, his legs crossed, with a pad and pen in his lap. I gently cracked open the door to listen. He was asking questions that a therapist would ask. Glancing over at Saeran I could see that his hands trembled as he balled them into fists. Why couldn’t this man see he was making him uncomfortable? Wasn’t a therapist’s job supposed to make an emotionally healthy environment so the patient could work though they’re problems? How this is possibly supposed to be helpful I had no idea. He was just spitting out question after question.

         My eyes widened when Saeran suddenly lunged at the man forcing both of them to the floor. Saeran held the man by his shirt, his fist raising in the air. I heard a nurse behind me shout out ‘I knew it’ before calling for other staff members. “Saeran stop!” Sliding the door open I raced to him, wrapping my arms around him. The force of my body colliding against his pushed him back slightly.

        “Let go of me!” He pulled at my hands that I had locked together behind his back. I responded by holding him tighter to me. “I said fucking let go of me!” He began to scratch at my arms, like a cat that had been cornered and was fighting for its life. I shook my head and adjusted so I cradled his head against my chest and pet the top of his head. His body flinched in shock and his arms limply fell to his sides.

         “It’s ok now.” Whispering I kept petting his head softly. Still holding him I glared at the therapist. “What was that?! Your method is terrible!” Nurses and doctors came rushing in, one of them holding a syringe which I could only assume was a sedative. “All of you should be ashamed of yourselves!” I felt him flinch in my arms at my outburst. “You can’t just do things as you please. All of you should know that one patient differs from the next!”

         “Miss we’ve got it from here you can leave now.” The doctor with the syringe firmly said as he begun stepped forward. Reflexively I hugged Saeran tighter and looked though the crowd of doctors and nurses. Stopping when I saw a familiar face, I silently pleaded with her to try to get them to leave.

         “Doctor,” she said, timidly stepping forward. “He seems to be stable right at the moment, shouldn’t the main focus be the therapist?” The doctor paused and reluctantly nodded. Filing everyone out of the room she looked back at me, not with the worried look she had earlier, but with a small smile instead. I mouthed a ‘thank you’ and she nodded and left, quietly shutting the door. Once the door clicked close I felt the tension in his body start to ease.

         He reached up and his hand clung to my clothes when I started to lean back. “Just….a little longer.” Hearing the pain in his voice I cradled his head again and pet his head. I hugged him tighter as his body started to slightly shake in my arms. Silently I began to rock him back and forth trying my hardest to comfort him. _What could’ve happened to you Saeran? Why are you in so much pain?_ In these silent moments I realized for the first time that I wouldn’t ever to be able to just turn my back and walk away from him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran POV

                Facing the wall in my room I heard the door open. Feigning sleep should deter anyone from talking to me. I heard the rustling of a bag and the sound of multiple things being set down on the table. Fighting the urge to look, I waited until the door closed. “What did the nurses bring now?” Sighing in annoyance I rolled over and looked at the table. Standing up I walked over and picked up the same drink that girl brought yesterday.

                Remembering the sympathetic look she gave me I slammed the drink back down on the table. My eyes rested on the note she’d left with everything, saying ‘Sorry Saeran’ in curvy letters. Underneath the note was something wrapped in paper. Placing the note aside I picked up the item and ripped back the paper. My movements froze. Ice cream. Absentmindedly grabbing the drink I walked back over to the bed and opened the ice cream package and took a bite.

                Bittersweet memories came to me as I remembered the times my brother took me to go get ice cream when we were younger. Angrily I took another bite, and then he just up and left me without a word. Just leaving me in that hellhole. Finishing the ice cream I licked what was left of if off my fingers. Laying back on the bed my hands behind my head, I looked up at the ceiling. My senses perked when I heard the familiar noise of a guitar being played.

                I sighed in frustration. “What is her problem?” Glaring up at the ceiling, I cursed myself. Feeling conflicted I couldn't decide if I wanted to push her away from me entirely or not. She’ll be like everyone else and eventually I’ll be left alone to my own devices again. Though, no matter how angry I got she didn’t shy away like everyone else. More often than not she glared back at me which I found rather amusing.

                I quietly listened to the music she played when I realized she knew my name but I didn’t know hers. Sitting up to lean against the wall I strained to listen to the children, one of them is bound to say her name right? I sighed in annoyance. Gathering information this way was a pain in the ass. I cringed as I heard the kids cheering. “Miss ____, miss ____ please play another one.” I let the smile that played against my lips come to the surface.

                “Even again, _____.” My smile faded as the music did. Taking a quick glance out the window I watched her leave. This is how it should be. Alone is best. _Don’t come back, for your own sake._ I willed to her as she vanished from sight.

                About twenty minutes later that same fucking therapist from before waltzes into the room like he owns the place. Seeing his upbeat attitude already put me in a very foul mood. It was the same thing as always. Question after question. I wished he would just shut up! It was like he was being this way on purpose. Just walking in and facing me with every intention to piss me off.

                Anger finally boiled over and I lunged at him. My fist froze in air when I heard her call my name. My eyes widened as I saw her rushing into the room. Colliding with me I felt her arms wrap around me. “Let me go!” Yelling at her I tried to pry her arms away. I frantically started to scratch at her as she held onto me tighter in response. _Why?! What do you want from me?!_ My mind screamed as I shouted at her again to let me go.

                My body tensed as she moved and gently held my head to her chest. My arms fell to my sides as she whispered it was ok. I tightly closed my eyes as my chest tightened when she yelled at the other people in the room. _What was with this woman?_ _Why did she go to such lengths for me?_

Silence hung in the air as the door closed. As if of their own accord my arms reached out and clung to her as if my life depended on it. “Just….a little longer.” I hoped she didn’t hear me but she hugged me tighter and stroked my hair again. Unintentionally my body started shivering. Expecting her to push me away, I wasn’t prepared when she started to slightly rock back and forth. Closing my eyes I continued to cling to her. _Maybe….maybe she was different._


	12. Chapter 12

                The time passed quickly as I sat there and held Saeran close to me. His shaking had subsided but he still clung to my clothes in silent desperation. His breathing had deepened and his body had relaxed. “Saeran?” Whispering I leaned back slightly but his bodyweight followed. “He’s sleeping…” Laughing slightly I stroked his hair a few times. My heart skipped a beat when I looked at his peaceful and unguarded expression. I looked around trying to figure out how I was going to get him into the bed.

                “I can help you.” I tensed up as I looked towards the voice. The man from the convenience store was smiling back at me. Walking over to us he bent down and put one of Saeran’s arms around his neck. Looking at them side by side I gasped. The man smiled at me again and started to lift Saeran up. Jumping up I pulled the blankets back on the bed before we laid him down. His face contorted in distress as we tried make him comfortable. Reaching out I started to stroke his hair again and watched as his features relaxed again.

                I felt the man’s eyes on me and I turned to him. “Is that a brother thing or something?” I said as I pointed between the two of them. He titled his head to the side looking confused. “That staring thing.” It wasn’t as intense as Saeran’s but he was still staring, and it was a little weird.

                Putting his hands in his pockets he laughed quietly. “I could be. Unintendedly though.” He shrugged slightly. “Could just be a twin thing.” Looking back at Saeran I couldn’t help but wonder why he always seemed so lonely when he had a twin brother. “I saw what you did _____. Why did you do it?” My head snapped back towards him.

                I sat on the edge of the bed and looked at Saeran. “Everyone deserves to be protected. Everyone here just seems to want him to do everything at their pace. We didn’t meet on the best of terms, but I couldn’t just stand by and let them do that.” Sitting up straight I looked at the man. “Wait a minute. How do you know my name? And if you know mine isn’t it fair if I know yours?”

                He sat in the chair next to him and looked over at me. “Saeyoung is my name. As for the how I know you…I saw you yesterday leaving his room. You were rubbing the back of your head. Others watched you leave. One nurse in particular looked really worried and I asked her your name.”

                “Huh. I see.” I tapped my fingers on my knees. For some reason I was expecting a more elaborate explanation. “Okay so you guys are twins. But if you’re his twin why does he seem so lonely and angry?” I watched as Saeyoung’s eyes seems to cloud over in sadness.

                “That…” He paused and sighed. “That isn’t something you should know right now.” He looked away from me as if he was ashamed of something. “Are you going to turn your back on Saeran if things get difficult?” I looked at him as if he had slapped me. “Okay question answered, sorry sorry!” He held up his hands and waved them frantically as if to turn back time to before he asked the question. Leaning forward he rested his elbows on his knees. “They want to move him.”

                “Move him?” I looked back at Saeran as I felt his hand grab at the bottom of my shirt. He hadn’t woken up, his chest steadily rising and falling as he slept. Placing my hand on top of his, I felt his tension ease. “Where do they want to move him?”

                “They want to move him to a different ward. The psychiatric ward.” He said quietly, clasping his hands together.

                “He’d be treated even worse there!” Saeyoung sat up straight and his eyes widened at my outburst. Regaining his composure his features softened slightly. _Not only that, but I wouldn’t really be able to see him anymore._ My heart ached as tears begun to blur my vision.

                “I won’t let them do that though.” Looking up at Saeyoung a tear rolled down my cheek. Taken aback he softly smiled. “I promise, because I think maybe you can save him if I can’t. It doesn’t matter how, I just want my brother back.” He looked down at the floor and I could’ve sworn I heard him sniffle.

                Before I could respond, a nurse came in wanting to talk with him and told me visiting hours were over and I needed to leave. I held Saeran’s hand after gently pulling his fingers from my shirt. I never really prayed but holding his hand I prayed that he be kept safe. Giving his hand a gentle squeeze I let it hand go and slowly walked out of the room.


	13. Chapter 13

                I couldn’t remember the last time I put an alarm on my phone and I groaned as the annoying ring filled the bedroom. It was almost time for visiting hours to start and after yesterday, I wanted to see Saeran as soon as possible. I knew I still couldn’t do much with the doctors and nurses when I wasn’t family but maybe if I was there, they’d be less likely to do anything to him.

                I hurriedly showered and got dressed. Walking into the kitchen I opened the fridge and pulled out one of the sweet drinks sitting on the shelf. I had stopped by the convenience on the way home and picked up a few different flavors so I wouldn’t have to stop on the way to the hospital. Putting them in my bag I grabbed an apple off the counter and took a quick bite out of it. I slid my shoes on at the door and left the house.

                “Maybe I could talk with the doctors today. Try to convince them to not move him.” Taking another bite of the apple I continued down the sidewalk with the flow of pedestrian traffic. “At least maybe convince them to use a different therapist.” My grip on the apple tightened as I remembered that man. How can someone like that take pride in their job if they acted like that? What I saw wasn’t professional at all. Slightly picking up my pace I weaved in and out of the groups of people around me.

                Open the door to his room by body felt numb. There was no sign that anyone had even been staying there. “W-where is he?” Turning around I looked at the smiling faces of the staff, who all seemed to be ecstatic that he was gone. I felt disgusted at their attitudes. They weren’t very professional with him either. _They didn’t already move him did they?!_ My eyes widened as I looked around for the nurse that helped us out yesterday.

                Unexpectedly my phone began to emit a noise I’d never heard before. Taken off the lock screen I saw a message from an unknown source. ‘I promised’ was all it said. “Saeyoung?” With jittery fingers I sent a message back. ‘Where is he?’ I pressed the send button so hard I thought that my screen might crack. Keeping my phone in hand I made to leave the hospital.

                I caught one of the children’s nurses in the lobby and told them that I wouldn’t be able to come and sing for the kids for a little while. My heart pained at thinking of their disappointed faces but, right now, I felt Saeran needed me more. My phone emitted the same noise and I quickly unlocked the screen. ‘Safe.’ I tightly gripped my phone in my hand and took a few deep breaths before answering back. ‘Dammit Saeyoung! Where?!’

                I leaned back against the wall of the building and tapped my foot on the ground while waiting for a reply. When I finally got it, it was an address but with it were specific instructions on what to do when I got there. Sighing in frustration I copied and pasted the address into the GPS on my phone and headed down the sidewalk.

                Making it to the destination I looked at my phone again to see what I had to do next. “Okay I need to go into….A costume shop? What the hell for?!” Clenching my jaw I walked into the store and walked up to the counter. “I’m supposed to pick up something for Seven.” _That didn’t even make any sense!_ I was expecting the woman behind the counter to look at me like I was crazed, but she smiled and handed me a small package. Thanking her, I walked back outside and opened it. “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me?!” I had pulled out a cat-eared headband.

                Feeling my face heat up, I put them on and sat down at the bench I was instructed to. Keeping my head down, I balled my fists on my knees. I could hear people that passed by whisper and laugh. _This is so embarrassing, how much longer do I have to sit here?_ A car stopped came to stop in front of me the passenger window rolling down. Stepping forward I looked inside. Someone I’d never seen before looked back, their lips twitching slightly as they asked for the password.

               “Oh c’mon! I have the headband on!” Shrugging they began to roll up the window. Yelling out for them to wait I took a deep breath and put my hands up like paws and meowed. The person snorted as they tried to hold back laughter and unlocked the car door. To avoid any other embarrassment I quickly jumped in. Pulling the car away from the curb the person pressed on the gas sending the car flying down the road.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran POV
> 
> *NOTICE: This chapter has bit more violence than I've put in before*
> 
> Also thank you to those who have continued to read along! <3

                I woke up looking up at an unfamiliar ceiling. Sitting up I pressed my palms to my temples as pain pulsed through my head. I sat still for a few minutes massaging my temples. Once the pain began to subside slightly I took in my surroundings. No windows to be seen. Computers and other equipment a hacker would use. Empty cans and chip bags. “Saeran.” Looking ahead I saw the reflection of my brother in the glass in front of me.

                I see. So he took me away from that room only to put me in a different confined space. Turning my body slightly, I glared at him. Holding out a glass of water to me I slapped it out of his hands. The glass hit the floor and shattered into pieces. “Why am I here?!” His constant visits to my hospital room almost started to fool me, and yet I saw that he was just another person that wanted to take control in my own life. Turning away from him I started to rip things off the walls. _Why does everyone want to control my life? The only one who hasn’t done that was…_.

                “I met _____.” My brother said casually. Turning on my heels I walked up to him. Punching him in the face, his glasses flew across the room and clattered as they slid across the floor. He swayed on his feet but collapsed to his knees.

                “You have no right to say her name!” Grabbing his hair I pulled his head back. I smiled happily as I saw blood drip from the corner of his mouth. With a pathetic look, his eyes met mine. Having him say her name made my blood boil. Grabbing his hair I pulled him up higher and jabbed my knee into his stomach. My smile widened as he hugged his abdomen and coughed. Laughing I put my foot against his shoulder and kicked him to the ground. This is what I wanted from the start to kill him with my own hands though for some reason it just felt empty now.

                Everyone was always trying to control me, he was no different. My life wasn’t my own, maybe it never would be. Only she treated me like I was my own person. My chest tightened as the absurd thought I wouldn’t see her again crossed my mind. “Does she even know where I am?” My voice shook with anger as my fists shook at my sides. I was angry at him for taking me away and angry at myself feeling like she was that important to me. 

                Sitting up still holding his abdomen, my brother stood up on shaky legs. “She doesn’t, but she will.” Punching him again his back hit the wall. Reaching out I put my hands against his throat and squeezed. Blood trickled onto my hands from the wound on his cheek and his mouth. _Why won’t you fight back?!_ I screamed at him in my mind. “You’re my twin. I’m you and you’re me. I just want us to be like we were.”

                I felt the strength in my hands ease as I saw the earnest look in his eyes. “You liar.” Whispering I looked at the floor. Taking the opportunity my brother removed my hands from his neck and reached out and hugged me tightly.

               “We can, Saeran. We can go back. I’m here for you. _____ is too, she cares for you. You don’t have to hurt on your own anymore!” I stood still as he hugged me tighter. Not alone anymore. Could I really believe that?

               “_____, is only being an annoying saintly person.” My chest ached as I voiced what I really thought. There’s no way she could care about me. Feeling my brothers body convulsing I looked at him. He held his sides as he laughed and pointed in a direction behind me. Turning around, my eyes widened.

               Standing there was _____. My eyes were drawn to the top of her head. _What the hell was she wearing?_ I then noticed the person standing next to her, which I assumed was a man, and my jaw clenched. Before I could stop myself I strode over to her and grabbed her wrist. She winced as I tightened my grip and started to pull her toward me. “Saeran, that hu—“ I reached out and grabbed a fistful of her hair and tilt her head back. Roughly, I pressed my lips to hers. I was going to make sure everyone in this room knew she was mine, including her.


	15. Chapter 15

                I stood in shock as Saeran roughly pressed his lips to mine. Pulling back then hugged me tightly to him. _What just happened?_ I was blinking rapidly trying to make heads or tails of the situation. A woman’s small scream pulled me back to my senses. Saeran released me from the hug but put his arm around my waist and pulled me against him, all while glaring at the person that brought me here. I watched as the woman rushed over to Saeyoung, fretting over his injuries.

                “What happen to you?!” She exclaimed as she hugged him tightly causing him to wince in pain. I tried to walk to them but Saeran tightened his arm around my waist. I looked up and glared at him. Undeterred he smiled back down at me. “Saeran!” The woman said turning to us. “You did this?!” He shrugged as if he was bored.

                Pinching his hand he winced and his grip on me loosened. Using that chance I slipped from his grip and walked over the woman and Saeyoung. Once I got over there and looked down at him he started laughing at me. “I can’t believe you’re still wearing that.” He said hugging his sides again. Feeling embarrassed I quickly took the cat-eared headband off my head. I had totally forgotten I had it on. The woman left his side only to return with a first aid kit.

                “So, Saeyoung. Why is it I had to wear this embarrassing thing?” The woman put some disinfectant on a cotton swab and started to dab his cheek a little roughly. He tried to pull away but she held his face steady.

                “Ahh! Baby, please! I was just trying to see how far she would go to get here.” She smiled sweetly at me and apologized on his behalf. “I’ll be honest though, I wasn’t expecting Saeran to do that when he saw you.” Glancing back over at Saeran I saw he was still glaring at the person who had brought me here.

                “Vanderwood could you come here please and check if there’s anything broken.” The woman stood up and stepped back looking upset at Saeyoung. “Would you like something to drink?” She said as she grabbed my hand towed me out of the room. A little reluctantly I followed her. I didn’t look up but I could tell Saeran’s eyes followed me out of the room.

                “Umm…Is it a good idea to leave them alone like that?” I asked when she stopped walking. I jumped as Saeyoung yelped from the other room. “I mean he looked pretty back.” Watching her silently she walked over to a cabinet and put the first aid kit away.

                “If he can still laugh like that he’ll be fine.” Sighing she faced me and bowed her head. “I have to apologize again. I had no idea I would do that to you. I knew he was going to be Saeran here but the way you arrived was a bit much.”

                “Oh it’s okay.” I said holding up my hands. “Really it is. It was just a little embarrassing was all. I wanted to know what Saeran was alright.” A blush kept to my cheeks when I recalled him kissing me. That was something I never would’ve expected him doing when I saw him again.

                “There’s something else I need to apologize for.” Looking at her curiously she held up a file and put it on the table in front of me. “You see when Saeyoung found out your name he did some…research.” _Research?_ Reaching out to the file I opened it up and saw a picture of me paper clipped to one side and information about me stapled to the other side. “Normally he doesn’t print things like this out but this time he did. I’m not sure why.” Glancing up at her she looked away from me.

                “What is this?” I said my hands trembling as I looked through the papers. “What kind of research is this? This is invasion of privacy!” My vision blurred as I looked at the papers. Things I had long forgotten came back to me in short waves. Picking up the file I started to walk back to the room where the others were.

                I glanced around the corner and saw Saeyoung had an arm draped over his Saeran’s shoulders. They looked every bit the part of brothers now. “You just let him beat you?” The one named Vanderwood asked, eyeing them skeptically.

                “It’s still a working progress but I think we’ll be alright with time.” Saeyoung smiled, his cheek starting to swell a little. He tightened his arm around Saeran in a small hug. Saeran groaned, gruffly told him to get off and then tried to shrug out from under his brother’s arm. I guess they’re brotherly bond was just suppressed and they just needed to go at it to bring everything back to the surface. I wonder what Saeyoung said to get through to him so quickly.

                My fingers tightened around the file in my hands. I didn’t want to be the bad guy I really didn’t. My past wasn’t going to go away and everything was calm in the room for the moment. It was probably the first time in a very long while that the brothers were so close to each other without tension stifling the air. Clutching the file to my chest I walked back to the room I came from.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: For the sake of this fanfic the MC that would have originally been in the game is named Alexa. I just used a name generator so it was completely random.

                I sighed quietly as I put the file back on the table and sat down. The woman was on the phone with someone and was scribbling on a paper. Looking over her shoulder at me, she quickly but politely dismissed herself and hung up the phone. With a smile she held out her hand to me. “Though it’s a little late, I think introductions are in order. My name is Alexa.” Reaching out we shook hands. “You didn’t say anything?” She asked as she looked at the file on the table.

                “Honestly, I didn’t want to ruin the mood by saying anything right now. So what’s the RFA?” I asked after clearing my throat trying to change the subject. She looked back and forth as if debating to continue that topic of conversation.

                “You heard that, huh?” She sat down across from me. “I suppose there’s no real harm in telling you about it.” Over the next thirty minutes she explained how she had gotten involved in the RFA and what it was about. Some things she had told me weren’t her place to say so she skipped over them which was understandable but a little discouraging. “And that’s about it up until what happened today.” Reaching out she clasps my hands in hers. “You want to come to the next party?”

                “I don’t know I’ve never really been to a fundraiser type party. I mean I hardly even wear dresses or skirts.” Shrugging my shoulders I was a bit bashful at my unfeminine self. “Anyways, it is getting bit late, I think I should start heading home.”

                Picking up the file I held it to my chest again. “I’m going to take this with me.” I said in a solemn voice. Nodding her head she gently patted my back as we walked back into the room. “Oh! I know it seems a bit rude but, what is Vanderwood, like boy or girl? ” I whispered to her before we entered the room. Laughing slightly she told me that she believed Vanderwood to be a boy. “Ok well let’s go with that then.” I said laughing back

                “How can you live like this?!” We stopped in the doorway when saw Vanderwood yelling at Saeyoung. “This is disgusting!” Vanderwood’s face contorted as he held up a full trash bag. “You never keep this place clean!”

                Stepping quietly to the side I tried to sneak by but then noticed Saeran wasn’t in the room. _Where did he go?_ There wasn’t really anywhere else to go other than outside or the hallway Alexa and I came from. While Alexa tried to wrangle in Vanderwood and Saeyoung I snuck outside.

                I took a deep breath of the crisp night air and looked around to see if I could find Saeran anywhere. “Where could he have gone?” I said quietly as the gravel shuffled beneath my feet. Pausing I looked up at the moon. My body stiffened when suddenly I was being pulled roughly back against someone. A hand clamping over my mouth to keep me from screaming.

                “Shhh, don’t scream.” My eyes widened when I realized who it was. Saeran held me tightly against him. Removing his hand from my mouth he hugged me closer, his forehead resting against my shoulder. “How? How can you sway me so much?” I winched slightly has he dug his fingertips into my arms. “Possessiveness has never really been my thing. It’s different with you.” His whispers send shivers down my spine.

                After a few minutes of silence he clapped hand over my mouth again. “This is going to hurt a little.” My eyes widened as he bit into my shoulder. I cried out against his hand and he held me tighter to him to minimize my squirming. The pain faded slightly as he removed his teeth. “It won’t bleed but it should bruise a little.” He whispered as he lightly kissed the bite mark over and over. He removed his hand from my mouth but gently glided his index finger back and forth on my lips.

                “Most people just leave kiss marks you know.” I said against his finger. I felt his body shake as he laughed slightly.

                “I know.” My breath hitched at the slight pain I felt when he kissed the bite mark. “But when you bump this you’ll automatically think of me. You’ll remember me every time that happens.” Stopping the movement of his finger turned me around and hugged me tightly.

                Wind rustled the leaves on the trees as the time passed. His breath kept hitching glancing at him I saw that his cheeks were wet with the tracks of tears. Dropping the file I reached up and held his face in my hands. Gently I pulled him down to my level and kissed his forehead before pressing my forehead to his. Covering my hands with his own we stood there in silence as his tears continued to fall.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran POV

                Saeyoung put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to him in a hug. I saw that his cheek has started to swell but he still smiled at me. He hadn’t fought back when I took my anger out on him. I had wanted to see him in pain at my own hands for years now. I wanted to kill him for so long, but when I finally had his life in my hands I couldn’t bring myself to continue. The walls I worked so hard to build to protect myself were crumbling one after the other.

                Shrugging my brother’s arm off of my shoulders I went to search for _____. Walking down the hall I heard my brother’s girlfriend, Alexa, explain how she came into the world of the RFA. Leaning casually against the wall I listened as she told her how it was me who originally lead her to that apartment. I was thankful that she kept out everything with Mint Eye, I would tell ____ about that someday. She hadn’t asked me any questions about my past yet but my heart sank as I wondered if she would turn away from me if she knew how broken I really was.

                Quietly I pushed myself away from the wall to go elsewhere. I walked back to where my brother and that Vanderwood person were. Seeing their banter about the state of the room I rolled my eyes and continued walking past them. They weren’t yelling at each other, in fact it seemed more of a mock fight than anything. Is this how people normally acted around each other?

                Saeyoung put his hand on my shoulder and stopped me in my place. “Saeran, where are you going?” Looking over my shoulder at him I saw him searching my face, eyes full of worry. Since being reunited, had he always looked at me that way?

                “A need fresh air.” I replied as I removed his hand. Turning away before he could say anything else I walked outside. I closed my eyes against the night air. I didn’t know how to live like this. Since I was born I was used as a tool for someone else’s gain. Seeing the compassion from those that surround themselves around me, I felt frightened and confused. I wanted to trust them but old habits die hard.

                “Where could he have gone?” My head jerked in the direction of her voice. Unmoving I watched her as she walked and looked around. She stopped after a few steps and looked up at the moon. My chest tightened and my heart skipped a beat as the moonlight seemed to make her skin glow. I had forsaken God and Heaven when I was taken in by Mint Eye, but right now she looked like an angel.

                Walking forward I wrapped my arm around her and placed a hand over her mouth like when I had first met her face to face. “Shhh, don’t scream.” Whispering into her ear I felt her body relax against me. Holding her tighter I rested my forehead against her shoulder. My heart thundered against my chest as she stayed in my arms and didn’t try to pull away.

                I placed my hand back over her mouth, and her body tensed slightly. “This is going to hurt a little.” I whispered as bit down on her shoulder. _Don’t fly from me _____, please._ Releasing her shoulder I gently kissed the bite mark over and over. Until the bruise faded she’d remember me.

                Turning her around to face me I hugged her against me tightly. My breath hitched as I the tears I had tried so hard to hold back started to fall on their own. I faintly heard the sound of papers falling to the ground as she reached up and held my face in her hands. Despite the chill of the night her hands were warm. Gently she pulled my face down to her, my eyes widening as she kissed my forehead.

                Her eyes gently closed as she rested her forehead against mine. My jaw clenched as silent tears continued to fall down my cheeks. I was in a constant battle with myself over pushing her away or wanting to keep her near me. Placing my hands over hers I knew then that I couldn’t ever be able to let her go. _God had plenty of angels, right? I wouldn’t let him have this one._


	18. Chapter 18

                Saeran took a deep shaky breath when his tears subsided. Smiling softly at him I used my thumbs to gently wipe his eyes. I couldn’t tell if it was from crying or not but I could’ve sworn his cheeks were slightly pink. “So is she going home or not?” I heard Vanderwood ask. Saeran tightly held my hands in his as I tried to pull them away.

                “Well, I have to get some work done.” I didn’t really, I just wanted to look through the file that was now at my feet. How much did Saeyoung print out? Once Saeran let go of my hands I bent down and picked up the file. Hugging it to my chest I looked at Saeyoung who looked away, looking ashamed. “I just want to go home, please?”

                Saeyoung stepped forward, keys jingling in his hands. Still not looking at me he walked to one of the many parked cars and revved one up. I turned to walk to the car and heard footsteps following me. I opened the passenger side of the car and Saeran put his and on my back. Practically pushing me into the back seat he sat next to me without a word.

                “Umm...Why are you coming Saeran?” The car remained silent as it cruised down the road. _Ok so he’s just ignoring me now._ “Hey! Why are you coming?” Poking his shoulder I tried to get his attention. Silently he reached up and put my hand down on the seat in between us squeezing it slightly. “That’s not an answer.” I said looking out my own window.

                The silence hung in car the entire trip. I sighed in relief as the car stopped in front of my residence. I was about to ask Saeyoung how he knew where I lived but the file I held to my chest stopped my question short. Saeyoung got out and pulled his seat forward to let me out and I was about to step out when Saeran tugged at my hand and pulled me his direction so I would get out on his side instead. _That was kind of cute._ I thought to myself as I forced back a laugh.

                I walked up the stairs and slid the key into the lock and unlocked the door. I turned around to say goodnight and I came face to chest with Saeran. “I’m staying.” He smiled down at me and reached behind me and opened the door. He walked inside as if he’d been living there all along.

                “Wha—Hey you can’t just walk into someone’s home!” Quickly walking into the house I put the file down on the table by the door. Walking down the hall I found Saeran laying on the couch. Hearing the car revving up, I rushed back to the door only to see Saeyoung with a big smile on his face. He waved at me before driving off. “Wait!” My hand suspended in the air as I called out. I sighed once the taillights vanished then shut and locked the door.

                “You did this on purpose!” My arms were crossed as I glared at Saeran. When he didn’t move I marched up to him. “Saeran!” I looked down at him, his eyes were closed. The hand resting on his chest gently rose and fell with his breathing. “Nice try. No one falls asleep that fast.” Kneeling down by the couch I leaned over him and reaching out I gently shook his shoulders. “Well you can’t sleep here you’ll get sick. At least go to the bedroom and lay down.”

                Sighing I started to stand up to go get the comforter off the bed. He reached out and grabbed my wrist. “Stay in the room with me.” He kept his eyes closed as I looked at his face.

                Gently tugging my hand as he held onto my wrist he slightly opened his eyes. “I will stay in the same room if you move to the bed so you don’t get sick.” Groaning he sluggishly got up off the couch and followed me through the house. His feet dragged across the floor and he collapsed onto the bed.

                I was about to pull the covers over him when he grabbed my wrist again this time pulling me to him. Wrapping his arms around my waist he rolled over and slightly pinned me. I winced as he rested his head on my bruised shoulder. I ran my fingers through his hair as he breathed deeply. “Sleep now, I will protect you.” I heard him sigh in his sleep as I held him close.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTICE: No blood written (but imagination implies it) or rape anythings, but some disturbing content in this chapter!!

                I waited until Saeran’s hold on me loosened until I peeled his arms from around me. Carefully I crawled off the bed and pulled the covers up to his shoulders. I reaching out I moved his bangs away from his eyes. For the first time I stared at his facial features from close up. He had such a handsome face. Lightly I pressed my finger to his bottom lip. Blushing, I jerked my hand back as his lips twitched beneath my finger.

                Shaking my head I quietly walked to go get the file that I had placed by the door. Going back to the bedroom I sat at my desk across the room. Turning on the lamp I glanced back at Saeran to make sure he hadn’t woken up. Turning back to the file I took a deep breath and opened it. Memories that I suppressed came flooding back to me causing my head to pulse and my chest to tighten.

                I continued to look through the files and didn’t realize tears were streaming down my cheeks until I felt something wiping a tear away. My body jerked away and I looked up at Saeran. “I thought you were sleeping.” I said, quickly using the palms of my hands to wipe my eyes. I started to close the file but he reached a hand out and kept it open.

                I sat silently as he read the contents on the open page. “Did Saeyoung do this?” I nodded not able to look up at him. I tried to close the file again but this time he pulled it away from me. He flipped back to the beginning of the file and began to skim its contents.

                “My biological parents tried to get rid of me.” I said quietly. He stopped looking down at the pages and looked at me. Sighing I kept my gaze downcast. He was either going to read it or hear it from me. “From the start I wasn’t wanted. Luckily the neighbors saved me. I wasn’t put in foster care but was sent to other family members. They were the ones I ended up calling mom and dad. They drank and did drugs constantly. As I got older, to avoid dealing with me, they would shut me away. I spent more time in darkness than not.” Glancing up at him I saw that he had closed the file and was leaning against the bookshelf waiting for me to continue.

                Clearing my throat I continued. “They had a small broom closet and would shove me in without food or water for days. There was no room for me to sit down. Things would crawl on me and when I would scream they would place me elsewhere. There was the well in the backyard where I had the choice to either stand or drown or a small box under the bed. A few time they had buried me alive for a few hours for fun, to see if I could survive or not. This continued until I was about twelve or so.” My fists shook as I placed them on the desk.

“As they gave into their addictions they started to argue with each other and it would get violent. That was when I hoped that they wouldn’t remember me. Unfortunately, one night, they did remember me. The woman I had called my ‘mother’ held me in front of her as a shield as the man I called ‘father’ held a loaded gun at her. With a smile on his face he put his finger to the trigger. Somehow the bullet flew by my head and entered through my mother’s cheek. When she let go of me I fell to my knees only to look up and see him hold the gun to his own head and pull the trigger again.” Tears flowed from my eyes and I sniffled. “I don’t really remember what happened after that but I was put into foster care and when I turned eighteen I left on my own and here I am.” Holding my hands out, I shrugged.

                Clearing my throat I stood up and reached out for the file without looking at him. “That’s pretty much all there is. Everything that’s in the file and everything that’s not. So give it back please.” He tossed the papers aside. “What are you—“ I suddenly found myself in his arms. “Stop it, this isn’t funny!” I pushed against his chest.

                I continued to struggle against him but he continued to hold me tight. I just told him everything, I didn’t have the strength to be played with right now. Placing his hand on the back of my head he forced my cheek to rest against him. “It ok now.” My body froze as he whispered the same words I had said to him. Holding my face in his hands he made me look up at him. For the first time I saw a loving look in his eyes. Leaning in he kissed the tip of my nose. While in shock he picked me up walked back over to the bed. Laying down he held me close. All this time I had thought I was only helping him but somewhere along the way he reached out and began helping me. Starting to cry again it was my turn to cling to him.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran POV

                Tightening my arms I realized that they were now empty. Sitting up, the sheets fell off my shoulders. My eyes naturally rested on her back. It looked like she was reading something and quietly I pulled back the sheets to walk over to her. Absentmindedly my fists clenched as I saw tears streaming down her cheeks. Reaching out I used my finger to wipe away the wet trail of tears.

                Jerking away from me, her eyes were wide a saucers as she looked up at me. Her lashes were damp from crying. I’d never seen her this troubled and it bothered me immensely. Trying to regain her composure she rubbed her eyes and tried to close what she was reading. Reaching out I stopped her. As my eyes flitted over the page my heart sank. It looked a lot like an informer profile. She nodded when I asked if my brother had done this.

                Flipping to the front of the file I paused as she started to tell me what was inside. Her voice shook with emotion as she quietly told me her past. My eyes widened in shock at the memories she was telling me. She always smiled so happily. How could she seem so cheerful and yet have such a damaging past. _I see. That’s why Saeyoung printed out all this_. He did it for me to read without her knowledge.

                She seemed as broken as I was. Maybe that’s why she’d tried so hard despite my outbursts toward her. She was quiet for a few minutes before she stood up and reached her hand out to me and asked for the file back. She was in pain and I still wasn’t used to being a comfort to anyone but I did the only thing I could think to do to help her. I tossed the file aside and hugged her close to me.

                She yelled that what I was doing wasn’t funny as she tried to push herself away from me. I let her struggle against me for a few seconds before I put a hand on the back of her head and forced her back against me. Closing my eyes I remembered that day at the hospital when she rushed to my side and yelled at the staff on my account. “It’s ok now.” Whispering those same words she had whispered to me that day she froze.

                Wanting to see her face I cupped it in my hands. Her eyes frantically searched mine then widened slightly. Leaning in I kissed the tip of her nose. As if in shock she blinked rapidly. Picking her up, I carried her over to the bed and held her against me again. Reaching around, she clung to me like I had her that day. I held her tightly as she cried with all her heart. In my heart of hearts I wished that I was the only one she was this vulnerable with.

                I looked down at her as she hiccupped in her sleep. I rubbed the pad of my thumb along her cheek before tucking hair back behind her ear. To believe in fate was a childish sentiment and, unfortunately, I couldn’t help but think her coming into my life was just that. Fate. She fought her way past my walls, and even still she was breaking them down one by one.

                I had wanted to be reborn. To be free with my own life. I’m sure without her realizing it, it was her that was causing a rebirth of life within me. I gently pressed my lips against hers as she slept. As she had been fixing my broken soul I swore I was going to fix hers too.

                Getting up off the bed I collected the file. I looked back her sleeping figure and turned off the desk lamp. I never would’ve guessed that I would ever have something so precious that I’d want to protect. I laughed at myself and my sentimental thoughts as I headed to the kitchen to burn the papers. There wasn’t a need for them anymore.


	21. Chapter 21

                Sluggishly I opened my eyes. Remembering last night I shot up in bed. _Oh God! I ugly cried on Saeran before passing out._ I hugged my knees to my chest and his my face. “Well that’s not embarrassing at all.” Lightly tapping my feet I peeked out over my knees. _Where is he anyways?_ Starting to pull back the covers I jumped slightly as the door swung open.

                In walked Saeran with a towel wrapped around his waist, water still dripping from his hair. I felt my face flush as I quickly turned my back. “What are you doing?!” I yelled at the wall. My heart raced as the imaged burned itself in my brain. Hearing the closet door open and close, I looked over my shoulder. His feet padded against the floor as he walked over to the dresser and reached to open the top drawer.

                Trying to kick the sheets off and rush over to him only caused my legs to get tangled and I fell to the floor. Without looking back at me he opened the drawer. Quickly untangling my legs I ran over and slammed the drawer closed, catching his fingers. Jerking back his hand he glared at me. “Serves you right!” I said glaring back. “You don’t just go through a woman’s things!” My eyes darted around the room trying to focus on anything but the naked man in front of me. “Why are you even showering when you don’t have a change clothes anyways?”

                “I’m washing the clothes I had on, I just need something to wear until the cycle is finished.” He grabbed my jaw and forced me to look at his face. My heart skipped a beat at the mischievous smile he gave me. Droplets of water dripped from the ends of his hair and onto my face as he looked down at me. “Ooor, I could just stay like this.”

                Swatting his hand away. “I’ll find something you can wear.” _I think I still have those baggy sweat pants somewhere._ “Just…go sit over there or something.” Once he turned his back to me I knelt down to look through the bottom drawers. “I thought I put them in here.” Talking to myself, I dug through the drawers. “Aha! Found ‘em.” Standing up and turning quickly I slipped on the water that Saeran had tracked.

                Colliding with him he fell onto his back with me on top of him. “I’m so sorry.” Flustered I tried to get off of him. Entangling one of his hands in my hair and holding one of my hands to his chest with the other he kept me on top of him. “This is embarrassing, Saeran.” Looking away from his face I stared at the tattoo on his arm. Putting pressure on the back of my head he brought my face closer to his. “W-wait! What’s that?” I nodded my head towards he tattoo.

               “A memory of who I was, and now also reminder of my sins.” He said as he continued to pull me to him. Pulling my hair, he tilted my head back. I could hear my pulse in my ears as his breath felt hot on my neck.

_Ding-Dong_

               “Doorbell! Doorbell!” I said in a higher octave than I wanted. Scrambling off of Saeran I rushed to get out of the room and go answer the door. “That was close.” I whispered as I pressed a hand to my chest as if to keep my heart in place. I looked through the peephole in the door to see who it was. Opening the door I greeted Saeyoung.

               “Miss ______, I’m here to pick up my brother from the sleepover.” He said with a childish voice and a smile to match. The swelling in his cheek had gone down but now was slightly bruised. “Hey, are you okay? Your face is red.”

               “I’m fine.” Opening the door more I invited him inside. He walked inside and looked around. Closing the door I face him, his back to me. “Hold on, sleepover? Wait you purposely left him here?!”

               Swerving around, he gasped and held a hand daintily to his chest. “Madam! What exactly are you implying?” Rolling my eyes I walked by him and went to the kitchen. “I am absolutely wounded at what you are suggesting!” He said dramatically while still in the entryway. I couldn’t help but laugh as he carried on dramatically as I started making coffee.

               “Shut up!” Turning around I saw Saeran throw a pillow down the hall at his brother. “Why are you here anyways?” He asked walking toward his brother. I heard Saeyoung whistle and mention the fact that Saeran was shirtless. _Maybe I should’ve tried to find a baggy shirt_. Of course he’d get the wrong idea with Saeran walking around half naked.

               My ears perked as Saeyoung’s attitude took a complete one-eighty as he answered his brother. “Yes, about that.” Curiously I peeked around the corner at them. They were looking at a tablet screen and looking very grim. With them being so absorbed in what they were doing, I walked back to the bedroom to get my phone. Casually unlocking it I saw a messaging in my inbox, from another unknown number. ‘You’re cordially invite to paradise’ as soon as I’d read it my phone’s screen seemed to glitch and the message vanished.


	22. Chapter 22

                I jumped as Saeran slammed his hand on the bedroom door. “Pack your bags.” Looking at him dumbfounded he opened my closet and looked for what I assumed was a suitcase. I stood rooted on the spot as I watched him look around the room. “Do you even have any suitcases?” Facing me, my shoulders twitched as I saw the intensity in his eyes. Silently I pointed to the bed. Reaching underneath he threw it down on the bed. “Pack it or I will.”

                “Why do I need to pack?” I asked, finally finding my voice. He looked at me impatiently and started to go to the dresser. “Okay, okay!” Rushing over to the dresser, he looked at me and nodded in satisfaction. He walked over to the doorway and put his back to me. Making sure his back stayed turned I opened the top drawer. I definitely didn’t need him rummaging through my underwear. Figuring a few days of clothes should do it, I finished packing.

                As soon as I zipped up the suitcase he reached around me and picked it up with one hand and grabbed my wrist his other. Pulling me down the hall he called out to his brother. “What’s going on?” I said, jerking my hand out of Saeran’s grip. Annoyance was apparent on his face as he looked back at me. Turning back he tossed my suitcase towards Saeyoung. Awkwardly catching it, Saeyoung left to go put it in the trunk of the car.

                “This place is being watched. We are not sure by who yet.” Saeran reached for me again but I took a step back. For the first time in a few days I saw anger flash in his eyes. “_____, I'm not playing around. Come here.” He held his hand out to me but I kept my ground.

                “That’s not a very good explanation, Saeran.” He took a step towards me and I took a step back. “Is that was you and Saeyoung were looking at?” I kept taking a step back with every step forward he took. “What reason would someone have to watch over my home?” Running out of room I couldn’t back away anymore. I flinched as Saeran lunged forward and slammed his hands against the wall on either side of me.

                “This is non-negotiable, _____.” I looked up at him with defiant eyes. This was my home and I was staying. He raised an eyebrow and smiled in amusement. In one swift moment he grabbed my wrist, bent down, and put me over his shoulder. “Don’t kick so much, I might drop you.” My body shook with the rhythm of his laughter as I froze my movements.

He didn’t put me down until he opened up the car door and gave me no room to go anywhere but into the back seat. Sighing in defeat I reluctantly complied. Looking in the rear view mirror I could tell that Saeyoung was trying to stifle his laughter. Crossing my arms I looked out my window, refusing to look at either of them.

                Stopping on bridge that had crossed a river Saeran held his hand out to me. I glanced at it then looked back out the window. “Where’s your phone?” He asked taking his hand back.

                “My back pocket. Why?” Furrowing my brow I looked at him questioningly. I looked down at his hand as he held it out again. When I didn’t make any move to give it to him he turned his body to me.

                “Is there anything of real importance on it right now?” When I shook my head he grabbed my arm and pulled me toward him sprawling me over his lap. I yelped as he slid a hand down my back and over to my back pocket. After taking my phone out he helped me back to a sitting position and quickly kissed my cheek before getting out of the car.

                I was scooting over to follow him out when he slid the front seat back slammed the car door. “Hey!” Trying to reach down to pull the latch that collapsed the front seat, I watched Saeran walk to the railing of the bridge. “Saeyoung? What is he doing?” I looked over at him. he was looking out his window and tapping his hands on the steering wheel as if nothing was happening.

               Glancing back at Saeran I saw him bring his hand back before throwing my phone into the air towards the river. My jaw dropped as I watched my phone vanish over the railing of the bridge. “What the hell was that for?!” I yelled at Saeran as soon as he opened the car door. Ignoring me he sat down in the front seat. “Oh so you’re going to ignore me too?” Silence took over the inside of the car as he began to move again.

                Reaching out I flicked Saeran’s ear as hard as I could. I knew it was childish but I was tired of being ignored. He clapped a hand over his ear and looked back at me. “What the fuck, _____!” Reaching out again I flicked him between the eyes. As my eyes met his I saw that very familiar angry look again.

                “I don’t know maybe because you blatantly felt me up! Yeah, didn’t think I noticed that did you?” Holding his gaze in the dark car I reached out with my other hand on the other side of the headrest and was going to flick his head when he reached up and grabbed my hand. He faced forward again and tightened his grip on my hand as I tried to pull it away. Bringing my fingers to his lips he kissed my fingertips. “Okay, I’m sorry!” I said quickly as I felt his teeth against my finger. With a chuckle he let my hand go. Crossing my arms I sat back in my seat quietly as I watched the scenery pass by the window.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran POV

                “Fucking doorbell.” I sprawled out on the floor to try to cool off. Who could it be at the hour anyways? Sighing I sat up and grabbed the sweatpants she had taken out. After checking how far the elastic in the waist stretched and saw it wouldn’t fit I broke the drawstring with my teeth. Checking the stretch again I believed that they would fit me now, and slipped them on.

                Hanging the towel up in the bathroom I heard Saeyoung down the hall being over dramatic. Returning to the bedroom I grabbed a pillow I walked down the hall and threw it at him. “Shut up!” _Your timing here is terrible._ I looked over at _____ as Saeyoung whistled and made a comment about my state of partial undress, she had already turned her back on me. Sighing I faced my brother again. “Why are you here anyways?” His smile faded and instinctively, I knew something wasn’t right.

                “Yes, about that.” Pulling a tablet out of jacket he beckoned me over to him. He showed me clips from various surveillance cameras. “Apparently, ______’s been monitored since she started going to see you at the hospital.” Talking in a voice that only I could hear I glanced up and saw her walking towards the bedroom. I looked down at the clips again. It wasn’t just one person it was several, and all knew how and where to avoid looking at the cameras.

                Gritting my teeth, I was about to reluctantly ask my brother for help when he spoke up first. “My place is secure. I also contacted Jumin for any spare bodyguards he may have.” _Great, Jumin Han. The executive director of C &R International, and not someone I wanted to be indebted to._ As if reading my mind Saeyoung put his hand on my shoulder. “It can’t be helped but it’s the best course of action at this point.” Shrugging his hand off, I went after _____.

                She was looking at her phone when I barged into the room. I caught the look of confusion before a look of shock took over her face. Looking down at the phone I shook my head, I’d deal with that later. Right now I had to get her out of here. “Do you even have a suitcase?” I could feel my annoyance mounting. When she pointed to the bed, I blindly reached underneath until I found it.

                She stayed rooted on the spot even after I stated that I would pack for her. When she still didn’t move I walked over to her dresser. Maybe taking out her underwear would make her move. If I was being honest, I wanted to see it myself. “Okay, okay I’ll do it!” _Good, it worked, this will be a lot faster with her cooperation._

                Standing in the doorway with my back to her my mind raced. She’s changed me so much in such a short amount of time. I’ve never been so frantic over wanting to protect someone. A small pang of guilt tugged at me when I wondered if this is what I had put my brother through when Alexa was at that apartment. Glancing over my shoulder and seeing _____ zipping up the suitcase I strode forward to take it and her out of the house.

                Making it halfway down the hallway I was taken aback when she tore her hand away from mine. Tossing the luggage to Saeyoung I turned back to her. The defiant look in her face sent my heart racing. She wanted an explanation but I wasn’t planning on giving one to her. She was coming with, willing or not. She backed away with every step I took toward her and when her back hit the wall I lunged toward her. Slamming my hands against the wall and trapping her she looked up at me with those defiant eyes. 

                Resisting the urge to kiss the defiance out of her I grabbed her wrist and slung her over my shoulder. Kicking her feet and hitting my back with her free hand she struggled against me. “Stop kicking your feet or I’ll drop you.” Laughing as she suddenly froze I carried her out of the house and to the car. Sitting next to her in the back seat I smiled as she seemed to be pouting. That was a new side of her I hadn’t seen and I tried my best not to stare.

                Saeyoung stopped in the middle of bridge that crossed a river. Thankfully it was more of a backroad and there were no other vehicles passing by. Looking over at _____ I held out my hand. She glanced at my hand and then looked back out the window. Clenching my jaw I turned my body toward her and asked where her phone was. When she told me her back pocket my hands twitched at an opportunity to touch her.

                Grabbing her arm I pulled her toward me and splayed her down on my lap. Smiling to myself I traced my hand down her back and to her ass before slowly taking the phone out of her pocket. Sitting her upright I leaned in and gave her a peck on the cheek so she’d stay still long enough for me to get out of the car. Pushing the seat back I shut the door and walked over to the railing of the bridge. Making quick work of her password I did a quick look through of her phone before I chucked it into the air and watched it disappear with a splash.

                Walking back to the car she started yelling the moment I opened the door. Ignoring her I sat in the front seat. After a few minutes of silence I felt pain in my ear, turning back to ____ I saw she held her hand up and realized she’d flicked my ear. Asking why she did it she replied with, “I don’t know maybe because you blatantly felt me up! Yeah, didn’t think I noticed that did you?” _I wasn’t trying to hide it._ I thought glaring at her to keep myself from smiling.

               She was the only one I knew to glare back at me in the way she did. Our eyes stayed locked as she flicked me again, between the eyes. I knew she was reaching with her other hand and I caught her hand before she could flick me again. Keeping my hold on her hand I kissed her fingertips. I could feel the pulse in her wrist racing. Taking it further I gently nipped at one of her fingers. I loosed my grip when she frantically let out an apology and fell silently back in her seat. Resting my elbow on the arm rest of the car door I gently tapped my finger against my lips as the car sped along the winding road.


	24. Chapter 24

                Walking into Saeyoung’s home, I looked around and saw that it was a mess again. “Do you just not pick up after yourself?” I asked him as he and Saeran walked over to the line of computer monitors in the corner of the room. Curiously I followed them and looked at the notes by the keyboards. Picking up one, I looked over the letters and numbers. “What is all this stuff for anyways?” Saeyoung looked over at me and snatched the paper out of my hand.

                Smiling at me he turned me around and began to push me away from the room. “It’s best if you don’t even look at this stuff.” Petting my head like I was a little child he then pointed ahead of me. “Down that way is a room you can stay in, go and make yourself comfortable.” Ducking back from his hand I walked in the direction he pointed.

                Stopping at the doorway I looked back at Saeran who was staring at one of the monitors, his fingers typing rapidly against one of the keyboards. Sighing I shut the door behind me. Turning on the light, I leaned back against the closed door I wondered how long I would essentially be trapped here. “No windows…” Walking over to the table in the corner of the room I picked up a handheld game system. “Well, I’ve got nothing better to do right now.” Taking it, I sat down in the chair next to the table and turned the system on.

                After a few minutes of not being able to get past the first few levels I gave up and look up at the ceiling in the dimply lit room. “They could’ve at least let me grab my guitar so I could pass the time.” Turning off the game and watching the screen fade to black I got up and left the room. “Ugh I’m hungry.” Glancing at the brothers typing away at the computers I walked to the kitchen in search of food.

                Walking into the kitchen I was greeted by a very surprised Alexa who was busy washing dishes. “You’re here too? When did you get here?” Setting down the dish she was currently washing, she turned off the water and wiped her hands on the towel hanging off her shoulder.

                “I’ve been here the whole time. They kind of forced me out of my house. Apparently my place was being watched by someone.” Shrugging slightly I walked over to the sink where she was and picked up the sudsy sponge. “Anyways, that’s all I know. Mind if I help? I can wash while you dry. It’ll go by faster.” She smiled at me and turned on the water. After a few minutes of silence I paused. “Did it feel like this for you?”

                Putting the dishes away as she dried them she thought for a minute. “Not necessarily. When I originally got the text messages that led me to the apartment I went by choice. I couldn’t do much while I was there because everything was connected to an alarm. So majorly my days went by talking to the members of the RFA and inviting guests to the party.” I couldn’t tell if she was exactly happy about that or not but she looked my way and smiled. “There were some scary times but at the end of the day if it weren’t for Saeran I never would’ve met Saeyoung or the others. He was under Mint Eye’s influence then.”

                “Mint Eye? What’s that?” I asked as I handed her the last dish. Taking the dish she seemed to clam up and wouldn’t talk about it anymore. As the silence hung in the air my stomach let out a deafening rumble. Coughing I tried to hide my embarrassment as Alexa’s eyes widened. Looking at each other we both laughed. “If you don’t mind if I use the kitchen I can make someone for everything.”

                “That’s a good idea! I need to get back to some invited guests and help with the preparations. After the last few parties I’ve been entrusted with more responsibilities and I don’t want to disappoint.” Putting the last dish away she gave me a quick run through of where everything was before leaving.

                I put my hair in a ponytail as I glanced over at the pantry. My fingers shook slightly as I reached for the doorknob. “I-I can’t expect them to not use this? Just because I don’t use mine back home.” Taking a deep breath I quickly opened the door and snatched the apron before slamming the door shut again. _No tight space, I’m fine…I’m fine._ With my heart still racing I reached behind my back and tied the ribbons of the apron in a bow.


	25. Chapter 25

                _Under the influence of Mint Eye? Is that why he was the way he was when we’d first met? What could they have done to him?_ I let my mind wander as steadily chopped vegetables on the cutting board. _Is it like a cult or something? Are they still around and, if so how did Saeran get away from them?_ “….._____!” Suddenly being torn from my thoughts my hand slipped and I sliced my finger.

                “Ow! Saeran don’t just yell my name out like that!” I turned to the sink to wash the wound when he reached out and gently took my hand in his. I looked up at him as he held up my hand, blood trickling down my finger.

                “I’ve been calling your name for a least a minute.” My eyes widened slightly as he brought my finger to his lips. Keeping his eyes locked on mine he began to lick the blood off my finger. My breath hitched at the wet sound and the hot sensation of his tongue. Closing his eyes slowly he put my finger in his mouth. I winced as he sucked slightly, his tongue rolling around my finger. Opening his eyes again he looked down at me. “Don’t look at me like you want me to kiss you.”

                I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks. “What are you talking about?” Reaching out he grabbed my ponytail before I could look away from him. Shuffling his feet he moved so that I was pinned between his body and the counter. Lacing fingers with my injured hand, he squeezed to keep pressure on the wound. Letting go of my hair he slid his hand down my jaw line. Stopping at my chin he tilted my face up towards his.

                “Your cheeks are pink and you eyelids look heavy.” He smirked down at me, his eyes glinting devilishly. “Certainly looks like you want to be kissed.” Slightly tilting his head he slowly bent down towards me. His lips parted as his eyes closed slightly. Feeling his breath against my lips, I tightly closed my eyes.

               “Ah, dude, the kitchen?!” My eyes shot open and Saeran stoop up straight, slightly applying pressure to my chin in annoyance. Not moving away from me Saeran turned to his brother, glaring intently at him. “I was just wondering what was taking so long.” Saeyoung said, playfully shrugging his shoulders. Letting go of me Saeran stepped back and turned to his brother.

               Quietly slipping past him Saeran I searched for a band-aid so I could finish cooking. Finding one I turned around and noticed that I was alone in the kitchen again. “That was close.” I whispered as I put the band-aid on. I stared down at my injured finger and flushed as I remembered the look in his eyes as he licked my blood. “He’s going to end up giving me a heart attack.” Turning back to the cutting board I finished cutting up the rest of the vegetables and finished cooking the meal.

              “That was actually really good.” Saeyoung said bringing his dirty dishes into the kitchen. “You’re almost like a jack of all trades, huh?”

               “Better a jack of all trades than a master of one. It looks like you really can pick up after yourself.” I said jokingly. He puckered his lips in a pout. Stopping at the doorway he turned back toward me as if to defend himself.

               “I pick up if I have time to. I wanted to hurry up and eat, Saeran seemed to glare at me the whole time.” He said looking down the hallway in Saeran’s direction. “Like he was mad I was eating the same thing or something. Of course, he could’ve been mad at my interruption earlier.” He turned down the hallway then rolled back on the balls of his feet. Looking away from me he rubbed the back of his neck with hand. “Look _____, I wanted apologize for printing out the things in that file. I just thought you were getting so close to Saeran it might help him more if he knew what I’d found out. I honestly thought you’d be really mad.”

               “Don’t misunderstand me I am mad, I was just waiting.” He looked at me as if to ask what I was waiting for. “Does your face still hurt?” He reached up to touch his cheek he shrugged. Holding up my left hand I slapped his other cheek. “That was my business and you had no right!”

               Now holding both his cheeks he looked steadily at me. “Ahh! Okay, fair enough. I am really glad you waited at least a little bit.” He said rubbing the cheek I’d just slapped. “If there’s anything I can do to make up for it, let me know.”

               “Wait!” I held out my hand as he started to turn back around. “I know what I want.” He looked at me with wide eyes as if to say ‘that was quick’. I looked away as he turned my direction. Squaring my shoulders I looked up at him. “Tell me about Mint Eye.”


	26. Chapter 26

                Saeyoung’s eyes seemed to bulge out of his head as he stared at me. Crossing my arms I refused to look away. “You said ‘anything’ and that’s what I want. I want to know about Mint Eye.” His eyes darted back and forth, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck again. “Alexa mentioned that Saeran was under their influence.” I told him and his movements suddenly stopped.

                “Of course she did.” He said with a sigh. “She shouldn’t have. If she didn’t look so cute sleeping I’d wake her to give her another lecture on security.” He said under his breath as he smiled. Clearing he throat his looked at me “Look _____, I don’t think you should know.” He looked away from me again. Turning away he quickly walked down the hall.

                “Hold on a minute!” I rushed after him yelling at him the whole way. The commotion caught Saeran’s attention and he looked over at me curiously. “Okay, this is good then.” Facing the twins I put my hands on my hips. “You guys can’t keep me in the dark forever. Wouldn’t it be better if I wasn’t completely clueless?”

                 “What is she talking about?” Saeran looked at his brother, who proceeded to answer him using sequences of ones and zeros. Saeran looked back at the monitors and continued typing. “Just be clueless.” He said flatly, completely dismissing me.

                “Well if I’m going to just be clueless then there’s no reason to be protected is there?” To try to get my point across I shrugged dramatically. Saeran rolled his eyes at me and glared at his brother when he mentioned that I did have a point. “I can’t take any cautions if I don’t know what I’m cautioning against!” When Saeran still didn’t seem to want to tell me I made my way for the door.

                As I opened the door Saeran reached out over my shoulder slamming it shut. He was so close I could feel his body heat on my back. Grabbing my hand he pulled me to the computers and sat me down roughly in the chair. Standing behind me he reached out and started typing at the keyboard in front of me. After a few minutes of only hearing the clacking sound of the keys something was pulled up on the screen.

                I turned my head to look at him but with his head down his hair hid his eyes. Without a word he put a hand on my head and turned me towards the screen. I gasped and I clasped my hands over my mouth. There sat a young boy with red hair being forced to take medications and being psychologically tortured. Day in and day out. After a few minutes I couldn’t look anymore and I turned the chair around to face Saeran.

                “Get the fuck off me!” Saeran yelled as he tried to peel Saeyoung off of him. Saeyoung eyes glimmered with tears as he held onto Saeran exclaiming his regret of not knowing anything about what had happened. “The recordings weren’t meant to be found. They were for research purposes. Dammit, I said get off me!” Saeran growled at his brother.

                As Saeran continued to try to peel his brother off of him I looked back at the computer screen, the recordings still playing. _So this is Mint Eye?_ This was part of his past, part of his pain that he carried for so long on his own. My eyes filled with tears as the boy in the recording had tears streaming down his cheeks. He held out for so long hoping his brother would come for him. They broke him down and rebuilt him in the image they had wanted. No wonder he had completely lost himself and lashed out at everyone.

                I looked back at the brothers, Saeran finally free from his brother’s vice-like hug. I looked at the arm that bared his tattoo, the permanent reminder of his past. Standing up silently I walked up to Saeran. Reaching out I traced my finger over the lines of the tattoo. He stayed silent as he watched me, the muscles in his arm twitching under my fingertips. Leaning forward I kissed the tattoo. From my own experience I knew better than to believe that someone’s past defined who they were. Or who they could be.

                Saeran looked down at me, his eyes wide. Placing my hands on his shoulders I stood on my tip toes and lightly kissed his lips before wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him to me. I knew he didn’t want pity. He didn’t want to hear the words ‘I’m sorry.’ I couldn’t change his past and what he’d gone through but I could keep his future from suffering the same pain. “It must’ve been hard to do but thank you for sharing a piece of your past with me.” His body stiffened slightly as he took in my words. Slowly he wrapped his arms around my back. Burying his face in my shoulder he hugged me tightly. _Don’t be afraid to be happy, Saeran. I am here for you._


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran POV

                I looked away from the monitors and saw that door to the room ______ was in was now open. Quickly standing up, I rushed over to the room and looked inside. _Where did she go? We would’ve heard it if she left out the front door._ Walking down the hallway towards the kitchen I heard a light chopping sound. _____ stood at the counter chopping vegetables on the cutting board.

                I called out to her a few times but she didn’t turn around. She kept scrunching her face like she was deep in thought. Crossing my arms I leaned against the door frame and looked at her silently. I tried not to laugh at the faces she was making, and called out louder to her this time.

                Startling her, her hand slipped and she ended up slicing her finger. _Shit, that wasn’t my intention._ Walking over to her I grabbed her hand before she got to the sink. I gently moved her hand back and forth to see how deep the cut was. Her eyes caught mine as she looked up at me. Keeping our eyes locked I held her hand up and began to lick the trail of blood that had traveled down her finger. My pulse sped up when I saw the blush that came to her cheeks. Taking it a step further I put her finger in my mouth and sucked slightly as I rolled my tongue around it.

                Releasing her finger from my mouth I looked down at her and my stomach clenched. She looked at me with flushed cheeks and partially closed eyes. Her eyes themselves, shown with passion. “Don’t look at me like you want me to kiss you.” The blush in her cheeks deepened and denying it she tried to look away from me. Grabbing her ponytail, I forced her to look at me as I guided her around so she was pinned between me and the counter.

                Lacing my fingers with her injured hand I squeezed to keep some pressure so her finger wouldn’t bleed too much as her pulse raced. Letting go of her hair I slid my hand down her jaw and tilted her face up. “You certainly look liked you want to be kissed.” I smiled knowingly down at her and leaned in toward her. I kept my eyes on her face as she tightly closed her eyes. My heartbeat thundered in my ears as our lips were a breaths width apart.

                “Aww, dude, the kitchen?!” _You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!_ I grit my teeth as my brother once again interrupted. First the doorbell now this. Straightening up I glared at him. “I was just wondering what was taking so long.” His innocent look made my blood boil. I felt her step around me and, sighing in exasperation, followed my brother back to the computers.

                Quickly eating the food she had made, Saeyoung made a b-lined for the kitchen. He kept his innocent attitude all through eating. I hardly tasted the food knowing full well he interrupted on purpose. A few minutes later he rushed back, ______ hot on his heels. Placing her hand on her hips she looked at both of us and said she didn’t want to be clueless anymore. Asking Saeyoung what she was talking about he replied using binary.

                Feigning indifference I turned away from her and back to the monitors. It was better if she stayed clueless. I glared at Saeyoung when he agreed with her that being completely clueless was probably the worst possible situation. In a huff she walked over to the front door. Rushing after her I slammed it shut as she started to open it. Gabbing her hand I pulled her toward the computers and roughly sat her down in the chair I had been sitting in.

                Explaining everything would be no good so, sighing, I reached around her and began to type in special sequences to open the video files from Mint Eye. I looked down when she looked at me and turned her head back to the screen. I watched her as she watched the screen in horror. Stepping away from her I mentally prepared myself for her to walk away from me without a word. That’s when Saeyoung lunged at me and hugged me tightly, while apologizing frantically. The files were designed specifically to not be found except by those that already knew how to find them. Finally prying Saeyoung away from me I looked over at _____.

                She slowly got up and faced me. I couldn’t pinpoint the emotion on her face and was rooted on the spot as she approached me. My fingers twitched as she reached out and began to trace the lines of the tattoo on my arm. Her touch was really light but it felt nice, as if with every pass of her fingers my memories were pushed back. My eyes widened as she put her hands on my shoulders and stood on her toes to lightly kiss my lips before hugging me. She didn’t give me any words of pity nor empty words of apology. _She….she thanked me?_ My arms slowly encircled themselves around her and I held her tighter to me. I didn’t think she was ever going to cease to amaze me.


	28. Chapter 28

                My body stiffened when I heard Saeyoung clear his throat. Remembering we weren’t alone I blushed slightly as Saeran released me from his arms. Walking over to the computer that was still playing the recordings he started to type at the keyboard. “Wait!” Reaching out I gripped his shoulder my eyes fixed on the screen. “Come to paradise?” I repeated after hearing it on the recording.

                “Why do you look so terrified ____?” Saeyoung asked as he stepped closer. My fingers tightened on Saeran’s shoulder. The twins looked at each other before Saeran went back to typing away. When the recording cut out I blinked rapidly and looked around.

                Taking my hand away from Saeran’s shoulder he turned to me waiting for an explanation. “Before I was rudely taken from my home,” I paused to glare at the twins. Taking a deep breath I continued. “I got a text message. It said I was cordially invited to paradise.”

                Saeran grabbed my arm, almost painfully. “Don’t you think that would’ve been important information to share?” He yelled leaning in towards me, our noses almost touching

                “How was I supposed know it was important when I didn’t know anything until about 10 minutes ago!” I glared up at him. He didn’t really have any right to be upset with me. “It vanished as soon as I read it so I wasn’t sure what to think.”

                Saeran gave a nod to Saeyoung before dragging me by the arm to the room I was in earlier. Once we were inside he slammed the door and practically tossed me into the chair. Putting his hands on either arm of the chair he leaned in towards me. “Jumin’s bodyguards should be here in the morning and even still you are not to leave my sight. Is that understood?”

                “I am not a child, Saeran!” I sat up as high as could to be eye level with him and I looked back at him just as intently. “You can’t just micromanage every second of my life!” He looked taken aback for a split second before he smiled evilly at me.

                I pressed my back against the chair as he leaned in even closer. “Watch me.” He whispered in my ear before pulling away. Standing up tall his hands were slightly fisted at his sides. “If need be I’ll tie you to the bed. So if you want what little freedom I can give you currently, you’ll behave and do as I say.” He walked over and opened the door just as Saeyoung was bringing over laptops and other electronics. After the twins set everything up on the desk Saeyoung left only turning at the door to wave goodnight to me.

                After sitting in silence for a few minutes I went over to my suitcase to get a change of clothes. I could use a hot shower right now. Clothes in hand I turned to Saeran. “Oh great Saeran could you find it in your good graces to allow me to bathe.” I said sarcastically walking towards the bathroom. “Or do I need supervision for that too?”

                I jumped and whirled around as his palm hit the wall. “If you’re offering I would be stupid to refuse.” Using his other hand he held my chin and tilted my head up. Pressing his body against me he looked down at me, a heated look in his eyes. “A word of warning though, once things start I won’t finish until I’ve broken you for anyone else but me.” Ducking his head in his lips barely touched mine. “Are you prepared for that?” He whispered against my lips.

                “I—I was just joking!” Pushing against his chest I ducked under his arm, only to be pulled back against him. My heart thundered against my chest. I felt his breath against my ear and my body shuddered.

                “Next time I won’t take it as a joke, _____. Remember that.” He whispered before nipping at my ear and letting me go. “Enjoy your shower.” The smile he gave me didn’t soften any of the words he had said. I knew he meant it all. Taking a shaky breath I closed the door. Holding a hand to my chest I realized I had just played with fire and barely escaped unscathed.


	29. Chapter 29

                After showering I cracked open the bathroom door and peeked out into the room. I looked over towards the desk and saw Saeran’s silhouette, the familiar clacking of keyboard keys filling the room. Sighing softly I was thankful he was facing away from me. After the words he told me earlier I didn’t think I could face him right away. Opening the door a little more is squeaked on its hinges. _Oh no!_ Looking over at him the typing stopped and he turned around to face me.

                “What are you doing, _____?” He said resting his chin in the palm of his hand. “Wait too long and you’ll catch a cold.” I could hear the amusement in his voice. He was purposely waiting for me to walk by him to get to the bed.

                “I packed quickly and grabbed the pajamas I usually wear not thinking of this situation.” I said point a finger between myself and Saeran. Hiding my body behind the door I looked at him. “Just…turn back around, please?”

                “No.” I couldn’t see but I knew that he was smiling at my unease. Standing up he walked over to the door and put his hand on the doorknob. “Just come on.” He said pushing to the door so it opened more. Reaching in, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of the bathroom and froze. As if my skin burned him he instantly let me go, he looked away and scratched his cheek with his index finger. “W-what is that?”

                “I told you I didn’t think of this situation.” I said hugging myself. A tank-top and short shorts was probably not the best thing to just grab out of the suitcase either so I guess this awkward situation was partially my fault. Reaching out he grabbed my hands and held them out and away from my body.

                “Don’t do that!” Tilting my head to the side I looked up at him. Glancing at me he looked me up and down and then looked away again. “When you cross your arms it pushes things…up.” Clearing his throat he gave me a nudge towards the bed. “Just go to sleep.” He stayed in the same spot until I was under the covers. I heard him take a deep breath and let it out slowly before walking back over to the laptop to start typing again. Rolling over to face the wall I fell asleep to the rhythmic sound of his fingers against the keys.

                Opening my eyes I sat up and looked around the room. I had no idea how much time had passed and with no windows or phone I had no immediate way to tell. Looking at the foot of the bed I saw clothes laid out already. _He went through my suitcase?_ I turned to him to give him a piece of my mind but bit my lip when I saw he had fallen asleep at the desk. Taking the clothes on the bed I pulled the covers up over my head and, with as little noise as possible, somehow got dressed.

                “Well that was an experience.” I whispered to myself as I got up and pulled the blanket off the bed. I started to gently put it on his shoulders when he shot up and grabbed the back of my head and brought our lips together.

                “Good morning.” He said with a glint in his eye as he licked his lips. I looked at him in shock as he stood up. “After walking out in that outfit last night this is the least you could do.” I can’t believe that he’s using that as an excuse. “That was also because I’ll be gone for the day looking into something so Saeyoung and Alexa will be with you today. The body guards are already posted outside. Behave.” Pointing a finger at me he quickly walked out the door.

                I stood there in shock for a minute or two. “That conniving bastard!” He kissed me and said everything so quickly on purpose knowing it would take me a little bit to let it sink in. “What an ass!” Walking out of the room I was met with Saeyoung’s happy smile, which faded the moment he saw my face. “What am I supposed to do all day?” I said to no one in particular.

                “I could use some help.” Alexa walked into the room with a sympathetic smile. I guess she’s more in the loop than I am. Forcing a smile, despite the pain in my chest, I nodded and followed her to another room. _How many rooms did this place actually have?!_ “I need just a little help with the party preparations, if you don’t mind.” The papers she handed me seemed to be sorted out already. The more papers she gave me the more it felt like she was just trying to help me pass the time. _She’s just taking pity on me I’m sure_.

                Eventually I let that thought go and the time seemed to fly by as we talked and laughed. A small pulse of pain ran through my head when I thought of Airi. I wondered why I couldn’t really remember being this way with her, even while in high school together. I should have memories like this with her right? Sighing I looked up from the papers in my hand. “I need a drink.”


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran POV  
> *Sexual tensions this chapter*

                I ended up being out all day. I thought I had found the location of the stragglers from Mint Eye but I was wrong. Parking the car I had borrowed from my brother. _I hope she at least tried to behave today_. Walking by the bodyguards, one of them in particular gave me a sense of unease. I’d have to keep an eye on him. I continued to the front door and answer all the questions needed to enter.

                Walking inside Saeyoung met me almost right away. “So uhh _____ is—“

                Before he could finish his sentence I grabbed him by the shirt and pushed him against the wall. “You were supposed to keep an eye on her!” He held up his hands in surrender and then pointed in the direction behind me. My grip on his clothes loosened slightly as I looked behind me. _____ came around the corner on unsteady feet. Holding up a glass of wine, she smiled widely at me.

                “Oh Saaaaeeraaaaann, hahaha.”

                Turning back to my brother I shook him. “She’s completely shitfaced!” Tossing him to the side I walked over to _____ and caught her before she fell. Prying the glass of wine out of her hand I set it aside. Alexa came out next her cheeks slightly flushed from drinking as well.

                “I’m so sorry. We opened up a bottle of the wine Jumin had gifted us and she just kept drinking and drinking. She just looked so upset. I’d thought it’d help her relax a little.” She looked extremely apologetic. Muttering out ‘it’s fine’ I picked up ____ and carried her to our room.

                I kicked the door closed behind me and set ______ down in the chair. Turning to walk to the bathroom I almost lost my footing when she jumped onto my back. She nuzzled her cheek against mine and I could feel the heat from the alcohol on her skin. “Saeraaan I missed you.” Adjusting her weight I held her like I was giving her a piggy back ride. Raising her hand she touched my lips with her fingertips. “I really *hic* like it when you kiss me.” My chest tightened at her boldfaced honesty.

                Backing up to the bed I set her down and unwrapped her arms from around me. I had to get her some water, and I had to get away from her. She was being too physical for her own good. Grabbing the cup by the sink I filled it up slightly and splashed the water in my face before filling it up again. Standing in front of her I held the cup out to her. Instead of reaching for it she put her lips on the rim of the cup and started to sip. She looked up at me and my breath hitched.

                Slowly standing up she walked a partial way around me. Smiling up at me she pushed me back. Not having enough room to steady my feet the back of my knees hit the bed and I sat down. The cup fell to the floor as she straddled and pushed up against me. Putting my hands on her hips to keep her from falling back I looked at her flushed cheeks and sleepy-like eyes. “_____, you’re drunk you need to lay down.” Though if I was being honest I didn’t want her to stop, but I didn’t want her to regret it in the morning.

                “Shhushh.” She whispered as she wrapped her arms around my neck, one of her hands running up my neck and into my hair. She touched her forehead to mine and looked me in the eyes. “I’m *hic* I’m going to kiss you, now.” I kept still and looked at her face as she gently closed her eyes. Her lashes fluttered against her cheeks as she pressed her lips to mine. Pulling back she slowly opened her eyes, looking extremely sensual and my stomach fluttered. “Now you *hic* kiss me.”

                Sliding one hand from her hip up her back she threw her head back and moaned slightly. Entangling my hand in her hair I kept her head back as I held her tightly to me as I softly kissed at the pulse in her neck. Her hands fell to my shoulders and she dug her fingers into my skin when I start to nip at her hot skin. Bringing her face to mine, I roughly pressed my lips against hers. Opening her mouth in a soft moan I slid my tongue in to tease hers. Pulling back from the kiss, her chest heaved as she panted. I held her body as she shivered against me. I combed my hand through her hair over and over.

                _God I wish you were this bold when you were sober, but then again only I am seeing you this way._ I smiled in satisfaction as I brought a lock of her hair to my lips and kissed it. She hugged me tightly as her breathing steadily evened back out. I rubbed my hand on her back as she nuzzled her face against my neck again. I could feel her breathing getting deeper and knew she was starting to fall asleep. “I love you, Saeran.” She whispered against my neck. My arms tightened around her as she let out a sigh, her body going limp as she passed out in my arms.


	31. Chapter 31

                Rolling over in bed, I groaned at the pounding in my head. Pressing my palms to my pounding head, I slowly opened my eyes only to see Saeran looking back at me, his face a few inches from mine. Scrambling backwards my back hit the wall and I groaned again as sharp pains shot through my temples.

                “Hungover?” He asked in amusement as he crawled onto the bed. The springs in the bed squeaked against his added weight. He put his hands on the wall on either side of me. Hugging the blanket against my chest I looked up at him. My heart leapt at the familiar look of intensity in his eyes as he looked at me.

                As he began to lean forward I slapped my hand against his mouth. His eyes widened as he paused his advance. My heart beat painfully as I remembered yesterday. “If you’re going to kiss me to distract me so you can leave again, don’t.” I looked away from him and felt him sigh against my hand before moving it away.

                The next moment I was in his arms, my cheek pressed against his chest. Why was he being so lovable this morning? Placing my hands on his chest I pushed away from and looked up at him. “Are you okay? You’re acting differently than normal.” I looked up at him in confusion and I could’ve sworn he looked hurt for a split second.

                Reaching out he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear before getting off the bed. “That’s okay. I like a challenge. You’ll tell me again, but this time you’ll be sober.” Looking over his shoulder he smiled back at me. The look in his eyes made me shiver and I felt like a fly that had been trapped in a spider’s web.

                Holding my head, I frantically tried to remember whatever I did or said last night but unfortunately no memories came to me. I remembered drinking with Alexa and the next thing was waking up with Saeran staring at me. Gasping I looked under the covers and saw I was still dressed. I heard him laugh from his seat at the desk as I sighed with relief. I started to glare at him but stopped myself as my head began to pound. Looking at the bedside table I saw a glass of water and a bottle of pain medication. Picking up the bottle I glanced over at Saeran’s back and smiled. Taking the recommended dosage, I sipped the water before laying back down.

                After the medication began to kick in I grabbed a change of clothes and slowly walked to the bathroom. “Don’t use water that is too hot. I’ll have to come get you if you pass out.” I closed the door against the hopeful tone of voice he used. _I’m not going to pass out!_ I stuck my tongue out at the closed door as if to have the last word.

                With the help of the medication and taking my movements slow and steady I managed to shower and get dressed without too much more pain in my head. Opening the door Saeran turned in his chair and looked a little disappointed before turning back around. I looked down at my clothes and then back to him. “Are you upset they aren’t revealing?” I laughed as I heard his fingers clumsily fumble over the keyboard. Walking over to my suitcase I opened it and realized I needed to either do laundry or go get more clothes. I wanted my guitar too. At least I wouldn’t be sitting in silence day in and day out.

                “Hey Saeran, can—“

                “No.” He curtly interrupted without turning around. My mouth dropped slightly and as I was about to protest when he turned around and stood up. “I know what you want to say and the answer is no.” I crossed my arms and looked at him. How could he possibly have known? “There hasn’t been any more lurkers around your place since you left but that doesn’t mean it’s safe.” He explained without looking at me.

                “So what am I supposed to do then? Can we at least go outside and walk around a little so I can get some fresh air?” I asked almost pleadingly. That wasn’t out of the question was it? There were body guards outside, and Saeran would be with me so I wouldn’t be out of his sight.

                Looking at me, he sighed. “Fine. But no walk. We can stand by the door.” He glanced over at me in annoyance when I muttered that that was better than nothing. “Five minutes, that’s it.” Walking in front of me we headed for the door. I waved at Saeyoung when he looked up from his work. He waved back looking a little worried but my gaze shot back to Saeran when I heard a clicking noise. He had pulled a gun from inside his jacket and was loading a round into the chamber.

                “What are you doing? Where did you get that?!” I stared at him dumbfounded. I didn’t think things were that bad. Or maybe he was just blowing things out of proportion.

                He simply smiled at me “Better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it. As for where I got it, that’s not important.” Looking back at me he held out his free hand. My heart thundered in my ears as I placed my hand in his. His body seemed to relax slightly as his fingers closed around my hand.

                Stepping outside he checked with the body guards that things weren’t out of the ordinary before guiding me out after him. Once we were fully outside one of them slammed it shut. “Finally!” I heard before one of them pointed a gun at Saeran, who pointed his own gun back at him. My voice froze as I felt something cold and hard pressed against the back of my head.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Gunshots, amount of blood depicted is up to the reader's imagination*

                Cold sweat ran down the back of my neck as I let go of Saeran’s hand to hold both of mine up. When I let his hand go he glanced over at me, his finger still on the trigger of the gun. “How?! We checked and double checked all your backgrounds!”

                Still holding the gun to my head the man pulled me to him by my arm and laughed. “You think you twins are the only decent hackers in the world?” Saeran quickly looked between the two men with murderous intent in his eyes. “Our brothers and sisters have been working non-stop to keep us here.” The man holding me took step after step away from Saeran. “You betrayed our entire family!”

                A midnight black car slammed its breaks next to us, scattering the gravel. “If you take her we’ll have your brother here.” Saeran said through a snarl. The man pointing the gun at Saeran moved to put the gun to his head. Saying something about paradise he pulled the trigger. I screamed as his lifeless body fell to the ground. Without missing a beat, Saeran adjusted his aim and pointed the gun at the man holding onto me. “Let her go!”

                The man laughed and pointed his gun back. “Him and you are currently just a liability.” Putting pressure on the trigger of his gun he took better aim at Saeran.

                “No!” Diving to put my weight on the man’s shooting arm just as his gun went off. I watched as Saeran fell to the ground holding onto his leg. In the man’s confusion I tried to rush to Saeran. The man grabbed my hand and hit the back of my head with the butt of his gun. I called out to Saeran as my world went black.

                When I regained consciousness I was tied to a chair in what looked like a medieval dungeon. My First thought wasn’t of me but of Saeran. _I hope he’s ok!_ I looked up when I heard footsteps crunching against the ground. I squinted through the dimly lit area to try to see who was walking towards me. My blood ran cold when a face came into view. “Airi?” I whispered, not believing what I was seeing. “But…why are you here?”

                “I’m here at paradise.” She said as she held her hands out welcomingly. “We’ve had our eyes on you for a long while. Since meeting you in high school your words swayed many. That’s when our savior set her eyes on you.” When she laughed it sounded cold and lifeless. “I was told to befriend you when your past was brought to light to the savior. I purposely went into a small business with you just to see how much your words could really sway the world.”

                I struggled against the bindings around me as I stared wide-eyed at her. “You’ve been with Mint Eye all this time?” She looked at me in surprise as if she hadn’t expected me to know about them at all. Why is this happening? “What about Saeran?!”

                “Oh yes, him.” She tapped a finger against her cheek. “When he started to show improvement he had become a liability, but then the news came that you were the one swaying what our savior worked so hard to accomplish. With you here now though, he’ll follow.” Opening the iron doors, she walked over to me and put her hands on my shoulders as stood behind me. “He was an important asset and you’ll be able to sway him our way again. Our influence is a lot bigger than even he knew. You could say that Mint Eye has its own branches. The world will be cleansed in the savior’s favor.”

                “If you have your amazing savior, then why do I need to be here?” I said venomously. Airi dug her nails into my shoulders only to let go and stepped away from me. Walking over to the iron door she nodded off into the distance.

                “Unfortunately, she’d been taken so you’re now here to take her place.” She said smiling at me through the space between the bars. “Don’t worry. You’ll soon see the world the way we do. Paradise will once again be a vision of the future.” She waved over her shoulder at me as she turned around. “She’s all yours.”

                On queue a man walked forward and I gasped as I saw his face. “You were that therapist!” I felt anger boil in me as I remembered how this man seemed to purposely make Saeran uncomfortable while he was in the hospital.

                “I’m glad you remember me.” He said as he formally bowed before continuing his steps towards me. “I have to say I was a little put out at first that you were undoing my work on him but when finding out who you were I was thrilled that I was one of the first to see your words of influence in person.” Standing in front of me he smiled as he reached into his pocket he took out a bottle of pills. After putting some in the palm of his hand, he reached out with his free hand and held the back of my head. “Quickly my lady, paradise awaits!” Slapping his hand over my mouth and nose he forced me to take the pills in his hand.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran POV  
> *some torture content towards the end of chapter*

                Kneeling on the ground holding my leg I looked up only to see ______ get pistol wiped. My temper flared as I heard her call out my name before passing out. The man roughly threw her into the back of the car before holding a finger against his ear piece. Nodding he looked back at me and put his gun away. My hand shook as I pointed my gun at him again, my vision doubling so I couldn’t aim correctly. “I’ll find you and the laughable excuse I once called family!”

                “We’re counting on it.” He said, smiling widely at me, before getting into the car.

                Still not being able to focus my eyes on a shot I watched despairingly as the car drove off. “Fuck!” Turning back to the door I quickly answered the questions it asked me and limped inside. Saeyoung came rushing up to me his eyes widening at the blood oozing down my leg. “Move!” I yelled at him as I limped to his computers and quickly started typing.

                “Where’s ______?” Saeyoung asked me, while he knelt down and looked at my leg.

                “I don’t have time for your fucking idiotic questions!” My vision blurred and sweat started to bead on my forehead. “The bullet mostly grazed me.” I said as the screen in front of me pulled up the location of the tracking devices I had put on _____ clothes that day that I went out and left her here.

                “Even if it mostly grazed you, you’re losing a lot of blood.” Saeyoung said as he pulled out his phone and started to type something.

                I placed my hand over his. “I said I don’t have time for this!” I turned back to the screen watching the coordinates of the tracking device keep changing. I was shocked when Saeyoung reached for me and grabbed fistfuls of my shirt and made me look at him.

                “Whether you have time for this or not you can’t save her if you’re dead!” Wide-eyed I stared at him, this was the first time he was like this with me. Looking away from him I knew deep down he was right. Letting go of my shirt he knelt down again and applied a makeshift tourniquet to try to stifle some of the bleeding, though I was losing some feeling in my leg already. Picking up his phone again he quickly dialed a number.

Biting down on my finger for the pain to keep me conscious I watched the information on the screen change over and over. “Don’t worry _____ we….No, _I’ll_ save you. Just hold on.”

                Waking up I looked around. Saeyoung was rapidly typing away but paused as he glanced over at me. He walked over to me and I grabbed his shirt. “When did I pass out?” His hand covered mine as he replied that it had been two days since I had passed out. Quickly getting up out of the hospital-like bed that was set up for me I limped over to the computer screens.

                “Wait! Saeran, you still shouldn’t move around like that. You’ll open up the stitches.” He said as he rushed over to me. I frantically searched the data in front of me for ______’s last known location. When my fingers paused I looked at Saeyoung. “They knew to look for the tracking devices.”

                I stood up and grabbed his shirt and brought my face close to his. “So we have no idea where she is?!” He closed his eyes in defeat. Growling slightly, I turned back to the computers. Saeyoung sat down next to me and looked at his own screen. Suddenly the phone between us began to ring. An unknown number. Reaching for it before my brother could I answered it.

                “Oh you’re alive, good.” It was voice that I recognized but couldn’t put a face to it. “We’re a little disappointed that you haven’t found us yet but maybe this will help.” I could hear his voice fade slightly as if he was holding the phone out in front of him. “Guess who, my lady.” My fingers gripped the phone tighter as I questioningly called out to her.

                “S-Saeran?” I heard her whispered voice. “I’m...I’m fine.” Her voice shook as she spoke.

                “Of course you’re fine. Paradise awaits, remember?” He talked as if he had forgotten he was on the phone. “Now, time for your medications.” My heart sank when I heard the word.

                “I…don’t…want them.” My hand holding the phone began to shake with rage when I heard the fear and anxiety in her voice.

                “Oh goodness, now that won’t do at all. Remember the last time you didn’t want to take them?” Memories came flooding back to me when I remembered what Mint Eye had done to me when I had refused.

I looked over at my brother who was typing away trying to catch a signal of the phone call. I already knew it wouldn’t be that easy. At least this was a starting point. If they have other hackers that are up to par with Saeyoung and myself, they could have us searching bounced signals for days.

                “Maybe this will help give you incentive.” The man’s voice brought me back from my thoughts. Pulling the phone away from my ear I looked at the screen. My fists clenched while I watched helplessly as she screamed and fought against the people trying to put her in a wooden box. “Hahahaha. Like her childhood right?” The happiness in the man’s voice only further fueled my anger. “We took it a step farther, though.”

                _Further?!_ It was then I noticed a hole in the box where her face would be. Shooting up to my feet I ignored the pain in my leg as I watched them start to pour water into the box with her. I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding when the box opened and they pulled her out by her hair. She shivered as she coughed up water while trying to get air at the same time. When she still refused the same man slapped his hand over her mouth while plugging her nose. She coughed again when he released his hand and pet her hair. “Good girl. Now then, Saeran, we’re waiting.” Before he could hang up I threw the phone against the wall and watched as pieces flew in every direction.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran POV

                Running my hands through my hair, I stared at the now shattered phone. The fear in her eyes running through my mind over and over. My body shook as I seethed with pure rage. _I’ve got to find her and fast!_ I glanced over at my brother who was staring at me silently.

                “We’ll find her, Saeran.” He said quietly before turning back to the computer screens.

                My eyes darting around not looking at anything in particular as held a hand to my mouth tapping my finger against my lips. My mind raced while I thought of the best course of action at this point. Closing my eyes, I sighed. “We’ll find her, yes, but we need help. Someone that has the resources.” As if knowing my train of thought Saeyoung pulled out another phone and began to dial a number.

                A few hours later I was looking up at the main building for C&R International. This was the last place I wanted to be. It was this man’s ‘body guards’ that brought on this mess. Who knew how many people Mint Eye had planted in corporations like this. Not only that, but Saeyoung insisted I wear a suit and tie for appearance purposes. It was constricting and stifling. I swatted my brother’s hands away as he made a move to straighten the tie.

                “Why am I the only one that has to wear something like this?” I asked more to myself than him as we walked into the building toward the elevator. _He_ got to wear his every day clothes. These clothes were stupid. I could’ve just worn some of his normal clothes too. I tapped my foot while we waited for the elevator to reach the designated floor.

                Getting off first, Saeyoung greeted another RFA member who went by the name Jaehee. Introductions weren’t needed, as everyone knew who I was now. I raised my eyebrow as she looked me from head to toe. “It was short notice but Mr. Han had a meeting cancelation but he’s still very busy.” She said as she looked down at a schedule. Turning around we followed her into the office of Jumin Han.

                Saeyoung looked around excitedly but then his shoulders slumped in disappointment. “Awww you didn’t bring Elly to work with you? I wanted to play with her.”

                “Her name is Elizabeth the 3rd and to reiterate I don’t want you anywhere near her.” He said flatly before looking up from the documents on his desk. As if scoffing at my brother’s attire his eyes widened slightly as he looked over at me. “You made a lot of trouble for the hospital staff.” I clenched my jaw as he talked to me condescendingly. “When Saeyoung told me that he would need body guards he failed to mention that they were for someone else’s sake.” Looking away from me he turned to my brother. “Though because you and Alexa were directly affected, I looked past it.” I clenched my fists at my sides and was about to tell him off when he turned back to me and continued to speak. “I would like to formally apologize for my lack of oversite on the body guards I sent.”

                “Apologies won’t change the fact that someone was taken!” I couldn’t bite my tongue any longer and the words spilled out. He looked at me with indifference and my fists shook as I fought the urge to lunge at him.

                “Yes, that was unfortunate.” He said as he started to walk toward my brother and I. “Thought I didn’t need to send them at all. Those in the RFA are like a family to me, they were who I originally sent them for.” I ground my teeth at his words.

                “But Saeran might as well be part of the RFA family.” Saeyoung said, jumping into the conversation. “He knows all about us and what the RFA is so he could be a member by default. ______ is important to him which, in turn, is kinda like his plus one.” He said with a smile. He was trying so hard on mine and _____’s account.

                Jumin looked over at me. “I don’t see it. You sent Alexa to Rika’s apartment. Intended to end the RFA and everyone in it. Now I’m supposed to believe that you don’t have some ulterior motive for coming here?” Rising he chin smugly he stared to walk out of the office.

                “Wait!” I called out and turned toward him. My fists clenched again and I looked down at the floor. We needed to find _____ and without his resources it could take days or even weeks, and she needed me now. Swallowing my pride, I knelt down, my forehead touching the floor. I faintly heard Saeyoung shockingly say my name. “Please.” _Please! I have to find her and I need all the help I can get!_

                Hearing him turn around I glanced up at him. He looked taken aback as he looked down at me. After a few moments of silence, he spoke. “Talk to assistant Kang and she’ll handle what you may need.” Was all he said before turning back around.

                Standing up I watched him leave. I glanced over at Saeyoung who had clapped a hand over his mouth to hold back his laughter. “If you tell her what I just did, I’ll kill you.” I told him as I loosened the tie around my neck. Walking back to the elevator I closed my eyes tightly when the doors closed. I felt a vain pulse in my temple as my brother held his sides as he laughed hysterically. Ignoring him, I opening my eyes and looked at my distorted reflection in the elevator doors. _Just a little longer _____. I’ll find you._


	35. Chapter 35

                I gasped for air as my hair was pulled, forcing my head up from the bucket of iced water. The cold water dripped down my face as the dragged me to the wall of my cell. The muscles in my arms protested as they were raised above my head. I gasped in pain as my wrists where shackled to the wall.  They had moved me from the chair, no longer being able to sit I had to stand. They had hoped the change would speed up my cooperation. I had no idea how many days I’d been down here.

                That same man who claimed the phony title of ‘therapist’ stepped forward. Grabbing my chin in his hand he forced my head up. “_____, you’re tougher than we originally gave you credit for. But you do know that it’s all futile? Saeran isn’t looking for you.” I closed my eyes to avoid his smile. A tear slipped from my eyes and mixed with the water that still dripped from my hair down my face. “You must stop thinking about him. It’ll all go away if you just do that.”

                “I…don’t want to…forget.” I whispered, my voice choked with emotion. I heard the man growl before slamming my head back against the wall. Immediately regretting what he’d done he pet my hair and apologized over and over.

                “It’s my job to turn you into our new savior.” Sighing he looked at me and gently rubbed his thumb on against my jaw. “But I can’t do that if you don’t cooperate. Things will get worse for you if you continue to resist this.” As if make his point he pulled against my arms, digging the shackles into my wrists. I bit my lip to keep from giving him the satisfaction of me screaming out in pain. Stepping back, he held his chin in his hand. “It really is amazing how long you’ve lasted.”

                “H-how…long has it been?” I asked quietly.

                “Hmm? Let’s see.” Looking up at the ceiling he thought for a moment. “About a week. If Saeran was looking for you don’t you think he’d have found you already?” My body shivered from the chill of the cell mixed with his laughter. He roughly grabbed my chin and made me look at him. “You shouldn’t make this any harder on yourself. Your mind and body are protesting against you, no? How much longer can you hold out?” Sighing again, he turned as the cell door squeaked on rusty hinges. My head slumped as he let go of my chin. _S-Saeran_ is _looking for me. I just know it. I just have to hold on._

                “Oh good, you brought it.” Struggling to hold my head up I looked at him. Turning to me he held a bottle in his hand. “Oh this?” He twirled the bottle in his hand, the liquid inside swishing about. “This is something new. Something that should help speed up this process so all of this can stop.” Walking slowly over to me he pulled out the cork stopper from the bottle. Grabbing my hair, he tilted my head back and poured some of the liquid into my mouth.

                Pretending to swallow he let go of my hair with a smile. “How do you feel now?” He asked, his face getting incredibly close to mine. Taking a deep breath though my nose I spit the liquid back in his face. Shooting back from me, he wiped his face with the back of his sleeve. I smiled as best as I could back at him. He looked at me angrily before raising his hand and slapping me across the face.

                “Sir, stop!” The person who brought the bottle spoke up as he grabbed the man’s hand to keep from hitting me again.

                “Right, right. Apologizes, my lady.” He bowed to me like the first time he walked into the cell. He was fully in charge of this torture and always apologized afterwards, but the torture never stopped. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was already this twisted or if Mint Eye had done this to him.

                Swirling the bottle in his hand again he looked over at me. “You know how this will work, my lady. You’ll take it whether you like it or not.” My head slumped down. I didn’t have the strength to hold it up anymore. The man’s shoes came into view as he stood in front of me. Grabbing my hair again he whipped my head back. Putting the bottle to his lips he put the rest of the contents in his mouth before throwing the bottle.

                His lips where on mine before the bottle shattered against the ground. Plugging my nose with his free hand had forced the contents into my mouth. With no way to breath I had no choice but to swallow, the liquid burning slightly as it went down. Once he was convinced I had fully swallowed the liquid he let me go and left the cell.

                My feet shuffled against the stone floor as I tried to take some of the weight off my wrists. Tears streamed from my eyes as my sniffling echoed quietly in the deathly quiet space around me. “I…I have to…to hold on.” I said between quiet sobs. I knew my thoughts should’ve been on me but no matter how much I wanted to think about me, my mind kept flashing back to the young red-headed boy in that recording Saeran showed me. “I know I need to…but I, I don’t know….how much longer I can…” My knees gave out and the shackles dug further into my wrists, finally breaking skin. I felt the warmth of my blood slowly streaming down my arm. _Saeran, please hurry._


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran POV

                My body twitched as I felt a chill run down my spine. I turned to look at the empty room feeling as though someone was there. “Of course there’s no one there.” I said to myself while shaking my head. Turning back to the computer I looked over the reports from the people Jumin Han had let me use. It’s been almost a week and nothing new from Mint Eye had been sent to us. Thankfully, with more than Saeyoung and I working on it now, the wide range of places they could be was shrinking fast.

                Purposely rubbing my hand against the bullet wound I kept myself awake with the pain as I continued to work. I could only imagine what they were doing to ______ and it both frightened and infuriated me. If they were as insisting with the medication as they were with me, how would she be when I found her? My chest tightened at the thought that she would hate me or worse, not even remember me.

                “You’ve gone over that information five times already, Saeran.” Saeyoung walked into the room with his normal meal, if you could even call it that. “We have to start looking at other information too.” I waved a hand of dismissal at him. I was already doing that. He sat down next to me, the crunch from his chips as he chewed starting to annoy me.

                “We’re both missing something. We have to be! I was the best hacker they had! We’ve overlooked something trivial!” I yelled at him as I grabbed the chip bag from him and tossed it aside. I pulled up the last information I was able to pull from her phone records. She never really talked to anyone much, and everyone she did talk it was more business-like than friendly. Every contact in her phone I had already checked and checked again. They’ve either had their lives swiped clean or were given new identities. I would take any leads at this point. Time was wasting and I had to find her.

                The computer dinged as an email came through. Quickly opening it, it was from one of people from the hospital. We had asked them to look for any inconsistencies with medication logs. With Rika nor myself with Mint Eye anymore, getting the medications needed would be more difficult, no matter how many people they had to hack into systems. It was meticulous business and with more than one person working it, there would be mistakes that could easily be traced back to them. They would have to get their supplies from somewhere local, and with those records being handwritten rather than logged into a computer it was easier to forge what medication went where.

                I looked over the scanned logs and almost immediately caught some inconsistencies. The name by those logs was that of the therapist that would come to my hospital room. “There.” I said smiling to myself. I felt Saeyoung looking over my shoulder. “Call Jaehee, we’ll need her help.” Nodding he picked up his phone and she showed up about an hour later.

                I held up a small tracking bud. “You need to give this to Dr. Yukari. He knows the details so nothing is left to explain to him. He will plant it and we’ll take it from there.” Nodding in understand she took the bud from me and headed to the hospital to hand it off. Once that was done I called one of Jumin’s drivers and gave the make and model of the man’s car so they could follow him when he left the hospital.

                I walked back and forth waiting for the conformation from the doctor. He should’ve been able to plant it by now. As if on cue with my thoughts, I heard a familiar ding from the computer. Quickly sitting down I pulled up a map, one little red light blinking steadily on it as it moved. It took many turns as if trying to lose someone tailing them. It had to be him. Finally stopping in a more remote area the light vanished.

                Saeyoung quickly typed in the last recorded coordinates into the computer. The area where he stopped was marked as a construction zone. “That makes sense.” Saeyoung said, as he looked at the virtual map displayed on the screen. “It would keep a whole lot of people from asking questions. Wait! Where are you going?! You can’t possibly think to go now!”

                Without saying a word to him I quickly dressed in the outfit I had originally worn when Mint Eye was my life. “Of course I’m going. You know the coordinates.” I started to walk out of the room when he grabbed my arm.

                “You can't just rush in, gun blazing! You’ll need back up!” He yelled at me as if to convince me.

                Shrugging his grip off me I smiled at him. “That’s where you come in.” As he stood there dumbstruck I grabbed a pair of keys and ran to his rows of cars lined up outside. Putting the key in the ignition I peeled out of the parking spot. With my foot almost to the floor I drove to the coordinates.

                Screeching to a halt I jumped out of the car only to see a familiar face. He smiled at me and clapped his hands wildly. “Bravo. Bravo! I must say I am actually impressed that you would use other resources that weren’t your own.” Without hesitation I pointed the gun in his direction. “Tsk. Tsk. Now, now, no need for that. Isn’t there someone you want to see first?” My shoulders twitched at his words. “I mean you came all this way. Would be a shame if you didn’t see her and how she is now.” Reluctantly I lowered the gun, and, flipping it in my hand held it out to him. Laughing he took it and turned around, walking towards the half constructed buildings. “Well, then shall we?”

                Keeping an eye on my surroundings I followed him. People stopped to look at me and whispered to themselves but no one made a move to attack me. It would do more harm than good to try to fight my way through anyone here when, currently, I wasn’t being treated as a threat. I followed the man down winding stairs and came to a dimly lit area. “Here we are.” He said as if he was singing. Opening the door joyously he beckoned me forward. My blood ran cold and body went numb when I looked into the cell.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran POV  
> *Emotional turmoil this chapter. Possible shots to the feels.*

                My heart stopped as I looked at _____ shackled to the wall. She looked much thinner. The sleeves of her clothes were stained with blood from that seemed to come from her wrists. Looking closer at her wrists I saw that they had been bandaged. The once pristine white bandages were now mixed with pink and red hues. It was clear that she had been that way for a while. Her head was down and her breathing was slightly ragged. I took a step forward only to have the barrel of my gun pressed to my head.

                “Oh no, I can’t have you going over there and undoing all my hard work.” I heard his voice but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her. This was much worse than I had ever imagined it to be. “This has to be my toughest patient. I’m excited to see the fruits of my labor.”

                “_______” I called out to softly and saw her fingers twitch at the sound of my voice. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that she was still responsive at least. I took another step only have the gun pressed to my head with more force.

                “I said I can’t have you undoing my work. She’ll be my masterpiece!” He screamed at me before looking at _____ with pride.

                “Don’t you think letting him see her for a day only to pull him away from her would be more effective?” A female voice echoed from an intercom somewhere nearby. He eased the pressure of the gun as he thought for a moment.

                “What a lovely idea, Airi. She’s held out this long for you to come. How would she respond when she held out long enough only to have you torn away from her before he very eyes!” Laughing insanely, he shoved me into the cell with her before locking the door and walking away. His laugh continued to echo as he walked back up the stairs.

                Rushing over to her I held her face in my hands and combed back the hair matted to against her forehead. She looked pale and her skin was cold. Holding up her legs I tried as best I could to keep her legs around my waist to alleviate the pressure on her wrists. Her head swayed slightly before resting against my shoulder. She was so thin I thought that she might snap in my arms. I gently pressed my body against hers in an attempt to warm her up even if it was only minimal.

                “______, I’m here. I’m here.” I whispered over and over again desperate for her to respond to me.

                “Saeran….” He voice was barely audible and sounded strained. Holding her face in my hands again I helped her look at me. Her eyes fluttered open with great effort. When she finally looked at me I noticed her eyes had lost that bright shine they’d always had. Her lips twitched as if she tried to smile at me. “I…held…on.” Her chest rattled as she spoke to me. “You’re…really here.”

                “Don’t speak now.” I said, kissing her lips gently to keep her from talking anymore for the moment. They felt lifeless and cold and my heart wrenched in my chest. “Rest now, I’ve got you.” I whispered to her and her eyes started to close. Once she placed her head on my shoulder again I punched the wall behind her. She’s barely alive! _Saeyoung you better hurry with that back up._ The silence stretched as I held her, just listening to her breathing in and out.

                “Time for the experiment to start.” I heard a familiar eerie voice call out over the screech of the cell’s door. Looking over my shoulder at him I saw him cock the gun and point it at me. “Come, come. Let’s see how much she can really take.” Men filed in from behind him and tried to pull me away from her. When her body weight put strain on her wrists again she cried out in pain. Despite my struggling I couldn’t hold my own against all of them at once and was forced to watch her struggle against the shackles.

                With the gun still in his hands he walked over to her and held her head up. “Look there, my lady. After seeing you, your knight in shining armor is leaving you.” He whispered in her ear and I saw the tears well up in her eyes, only to spill over her cheeks. _Don’t believe that ______. Don’t believe it!_ I willed to her. “Now tell me, who is that there in front of you?” As he asked the question I could see her eyes lose any recognition. I steeled my heart over what I knew was coming next.

                “I…I don’t know.” She said weakly. The man laughed maniacally at her response.

                “How do you feel about that, Saeran? That was it, that was what I needed to wipe her clean. It’s absolutely beautiful isn’t it!” He smiled at me as if the battle was over.

                “You can laugh now but I guarantee you I’ll make her remember me. But not before you die by my hands first!” He held a hand to his mouth theatrically as he yawned. Waving a hand to the men holding me, they began to drag me away. I looked at ______’s face until she was out of my sight. _I swear to you ______. I will save you and bring you back to me!_


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Emotional turmoil again* Things will get better soon I promise! Don't hate me please!
> 
> (I have purposely not given the therapist guy a name so he can seem dehumanized and creepy!)

                _I feel warm_. Someone was whispering to me. My cheek rested against their shoulder. This voice was familiar. “Saeran…” _I’m not dreaming, am I? It feels so real._ I felt hands on my face as they helped me hold my head up. I struggled to open my eyes and body felt lighter as I looked into light, mint-green eyes. Yes… _Saeran…that was his name, right?_ His eyes searched mine and I tried to smile at him. “I…held…on.” My chest and throat hurt as I tried to speak to him. “You’re...really here.” I whispered ignoring the pain burning in my throat as I spoke.

                I felt him press his lips to mine. They were warm and soft. The warmth from his body was comforting and was making me sleepy. He whispered words to me as he held me gently. Resting against his shoulder I breathed in his scent and eventually fell asleep surrounded by his warmth.

                My body twitched at the sudden commotion in the space around me. Feeling heavy again as I began to fall. The shackles were pulled tight against my wrists and I screamed out in pain. I felt out of breath at the intensity of the pain. I heard that evil man’s voice coming from far away even though I heard his familiar footfalls coming towards me. Grabbing my chin, he held my head up.

                “Look there, my lady.” He said before leaning in to whisper. “After seeing you, your knight in shining armor is leaving you.” _No…no he wouldn’t leave!_ I felt the warmth of my tears as they flowed out of my eyes. “Now tell me, who is that there in front of you?” He asked me excitedly.

                I looked at the man restrained before me. It felt as if something in my mind had snapped and my eyes were losing focus. _That hair. Those eyes. Both familiar, and yet…Who…? Who was he? I…I don’t remember. He’s important to me isn’t he? Why don’t I remember?_ “I…I don’t know.” As I said the words, my chest tightened in pain. I zoned out my ears only ringing with a white noise. _Do I really not know him?_

                I watched his bright eyes cloud over before turning clear with rage. My heart thudded painfully in my chest as I watched his lips move. Though he was restrained he still fought against the other men holding onto him. His body shook as his hateful gaze bore into the man beside me. My eyes stayed on a fixed spot as the man was taking away. _Why does it hurt so much?_

                The man standing next to me laughed and looked at me, his eyes shining with triumph. Raising his arms, he released me from the shackles and caught me before I fell limply to the ground. He tucked some of my hair behind my ears before hugging me to him. It felt awkward and uncomfortable. “You have been my greatest achievement so far.” He whispered against my hair as he patted the top of my head. Putting an arm under my legs he picked me and carried me to a different cell that contained an actual bed.

                Placing me on the bed he pulled another bottle out of his pocket. “We are not done yet.” Supporting my back he held the bottle to my lips. With no strength to fight back any more I drank the liquid that spilled into my mouth. “You’re one step closer to become part of our paradise. With me, you’ll lead us all into the sun.” Gently laying me down on my back he looked down at me before wiping a tear from his eye as he smiled.

                I barely heard the lock in the cell’s door as I stared up at the ceiling. I closed my eyes and saw those mint-green eyes. My head pulsed painfully as I tried to remember. _How do I know him?_ I tried to delve deep in my memories but the more I thought, the more pain radiated through my head. _He’s so familiar. What was he to me?_

                My heart raced as I stayed flat on my back. A vision of that man and his bright eyes suddenly floated above me. I began to pant in fear, feeling like I was sinking into the ground and further away from him. Blackness was beginning to take over me. _Who are you? Why am I seeing you?_ Fighting through the pain in my muscles I reached up to him. Extending his arm, he reached out to me as well. I tear slipped from the corner of my eye as blackness fully took over me before our fingers touched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU everyone who has stuck with the story, and THANK YOU to all the new readers ^^.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran POV

                I wasn’t brought to another cell but a plain windowless room. I paced back and forth occasionally punching the walls. Droplets of blood fell to the floor from my knuckles. “That man is going to die by my hands.” I angrily whispered to myself over and over again. I jerked my body towards the door when I heard the small metal slab slide open.

                “You’re Airi, aren’t you?” I asked trying to keep my voice flat and uninterested. She simply smiled back at me.

                “It doesn’t surprise me that you know who I am.” She said as she looked through the small opening. “I just had to see in person, the man who had influenced those lyrics _____ wrote last. I was slightly shocked when it found out it was you.” She opened the door and leaned against the door frame. I remained uninterested as she looked me up and down. “I’ve got to say she didn’t do half bad.” She said lustfully as she sauntered into the room, her hips swinging back and forth.

                _Oh you’ve got to be kidding me._ My fists clenched at my sides as she touched a hand to my chest. “Her words had swayed you, maybe I can do the same…in a different way.” She glided her hand up my chest to my shoulder. She looked up at me and blinked her eyes sensually.

                I grabbed her wrist, I slightly tossed my head back and laughed. “You think you could handle what I dish out?” My grip tightened as she took a step back, the lust in her eyes fading slightly. Clearing her throat, she squared her shoulders and looked back up at me. Laughing again I pulled her arm and slammed her against the wall. Grabbing her other wrist, I held her against the wall. I smiled in satisfaction as her eyes widened. “What’s the matter? Isn’t this what you wanted?”

                “Th-there’s no way you were like this with _____.” She said her voice shaking in fear.

                “Oh no? I dug my nail into the nap of her neck. Bit her so hard that it left a bruise on her shoulder. I’ve grabbed her roughly more often than not. And I’ve put my hands around her throat, much like this.” Releasing her wrists, I wrapped my fingers around her neck and squeezed slightly. “You took her from me, have thoroughly pissed me off, and now have the nerve to waltz in her and try to seduce me?” Tears spilled from her eyes and her lips trembled. _What a disgusting woman!_ “Why did you take her?”

                My fingers twitched against her throat as she explained their plans and how Rika had wanted her as a fellow savior for the people. Rika’s convoluted plans spanned further than I had ever known. How did she keep it all from me? “Y-you can’t…kill me!” She said between gasps of air.

                “What’s stopping me?” I asked her with no hint of remorse at what my intentions were. “If I don’t you’ll keep coming after her won’t you?”

                “It’s what the savior wanted.” She began to claw at my hands and arms. “But you...can’t kill me because…I’m _____’s friend.”

                My jaw clenched as she threw out the word ‘friend’ so casually. “Friends wouldn’t do what you did. You wove a web of deceit with a smile plastered on your face.” Leaning forward I whispered in her ear. “The savior was a liar. Anyone you wanted revenge on she didn’t plan on ridding the world of them, I guarantee you that.”

                Her eyes widened again as she stared at me in disbelief. Her eyes glanced toward the door as we heard a loud commotion down the hall. “Fucking finally, Saeyoung!” Pulling Airi to me I put her in a head lock. “I won’t kill you now, but I swear if I ever see you again I won’t be so generous. Remember that.” I whispered menacingly in her ear before she passed out. Letting her limp body drop to the floor I stepped over her to leave the room.

                As soon as I had made it into the hallway, Saeyoung came rushing up to me. “Why the hell are you here?!” I yelled at him.

                “I needed to make sure you two were okay…” He looked into the room, his shoulders relaxing when he saw the woman lying there was still breathing. “Wait. Where’s _____?” He looked at me expectantly. Ignoring his question, I looked past him towards the backup he’s brought with him. Taking long strides I walked up to one of them asking for any weapons he could give me. After handing me a knife and a pistol Saeyoung turned me around, forcing me to face him. “What are you planning to do?”

                Making sure a round was loaded into the chamber I looked at him. “I have a promise to keep.” I said, a smile coming to my lips. I walked a few steps before turning back to my brother. “Do _not_ follow me, you’ll just be in the way.” Taking off in a sprint I made my way to the cells underground.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran POV  
> *More violence than in any other chapters!*

                 Keeping my finger on the trigger, I made my way down the winding stairs. I came to a halt when I heard that man talking to her. “Oh, my lady. It’s terrible. We have to get out of here.” Glancing around the corner I saw him pull her up by her wrist before holding her against him. His hand, now covered in her blood, gleamed in the dim light. Stepping out of the shadows I held my gun up getting him in my sights. Looking up at me he froze. “No! This isn’t possible! This isn’t how things were supposed to work!” Reaching around the waist of his pants he pulled out the gun I had originally brought with me.

                Still holding ______’s limp body against him he tried desperately to point the gun towards me. However, blood on his hands made him struggle to grip it correctly and he cursed as the gun slipped out of his hand. I took a step forward my aim still on him. Adjusting her weight against him he pulled out a bottle from his pocket. Slamming it against the bars of the cell the bottom of it shattered, the liquid inside splashing against stone floor. I froze as he held the jagged glass towards _____ throat.

                “You wouldn’t do anything to her.” I said hoping that I was correct.

                “Oh wouldn’t I? We could always find another. I would rather destroy my greatest achievement than have my work undone, to have my efforts wasted!” He laughed hysterically as he glowered at me. “So, why don’t you drop what you have in your hand there? Because you wouldn’t want anything to happen to her would you?” My finger eased off the trigger when she winced as the glass’s jagged edge punctured her skin. He nodded frantically, silently telling me he really meant to harm her.

                Lowering my arm, I dropped the gun at my feet, a cloud of dust dispersing when the gun hit with a muffled thud. I held up my hands in surrender as I took some steps towards him. “You wouldn’t want to hurt her if you could help it.” His body straightened as he looked down at _____’s face. A sadness crossing his face. While he was distracted I dug the knife out of my pocked and threw it towards him, the blade embedding itself in his shoulder.

                The shock of the impact made him drop the broken bottle in his hand. He screamed out in pain and growled at me. Letting go of ______ to remove the knife from his shoulder I sprung forward to catch her. Holding her unconscious body to me, I gently kissed her forehead. Gently leaning her against the cell’s door I slowly stood up to face him. “You will not leave here alive. I promised you that I would kill you with my own hands after all.”

                Screaming wildly, he lunged at me, the knife in his hand. Easily dodging his downward swing my fist collided with his stomach. The knife clattered to the ground. His eyes rolled back in his head as he knelt on the ground. I kicked the knife away as he hugged his abdomen and gasped for air. Bringing my leg back I kicked his face with full force. He rolled to his side as he coughed and spit out blood. Grabbing his hand, I weaved his arm around one of the bars to the cell next to us. He looked up at me, a wild look in his eyes. While still holding onto his hand I stood up just enough to bring my foot down on his shoulder. A popping sound echoing as his shoulder dislocated.

                His screams of pain reached deaf ears as his eyes pleaded for me to stop. Letting go of his hand he pulled his limp arm from around the bar. He was trying his hardest to crawl toward the knife I had kicked away. Picking up the broken bottle he had dropped I walked over to him and jammed the bottle into his hand before he touched the hilt.

                “Saeran…I didn’t mean it…I was doing what I was told.” His voice shook as he spoke to me. Crouching down I casually picked up the knife and twirled it in my hand. I purposely angled the knife so that he could see the fear in his own eyes. “I didn’t want to torture any one, I was told to do it! I swear it!”

                “You had no problem carrying out one torture after the next.” I looked over at _____ her chest gently raising and falling. “I could let you go, but that would make me a liar.” I looked down at him and his eyes widened in a glimmer of hope. I laughed at the pathetic man, broken before me. Gripping the hilt of the knife I held it over my head. “More importantly, you fucked with the wrong guy!” I brought the knife down with such force that it went through his throat and was embedded in the stone floor. Without looking back, I walked over to _____. Gently picking her, I held her close as I walked up the winding stairs. Leaving the man to choke on his own blood.


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran POV

                I walked as fast as I could without jostling _____ around too much. Ignoring the lingering commotion around me I walked down the trail towards the parked cars. Saeyoung jumped up from leaning against one of the vehicles and over to me. “What happened to her?!” He said looked worried.

                “We need to get her to the hospital, Saeyoung. Now!” He quickly spun around when I walked past him. He quickly opened the passenger’s side door for me and I put her on the seat and buckled her in. Closing the door, I quickly walked around to the driver’s side and jumped in. Turning the key already in the ignition I put the car in gear and sped off. Looking up I saw Saeyoung in the rear view mirror holding out his hand as if to tell me wait. Weaving in and out of traffic I parked at the hospital, Saeyoung parking right beside me. ______ groaned as I took her out of the passenger seat and carried her into the hospital.

                The doctors and nurses looked at me suspiciously as they looked between ______ and myself. Saeyoung quickly jumped in to explain that her injuries were not my doing. Though the doctors were still skeptical, they led us to a room. Once I put her down on the bed Saeyoung put his hand on my shoulder to try to lead me out of the room. Slapping his hand away I sat in the chair that was out of the way. I wasn’t leaving.

                Crossing my arms, I watched as the doctors removed the old bandages on her wrists to reveal the injuries underneath. My fingers dug into my arm when I saw how bad they really were. She didn’t open her eyes when they cleansed the wounds but she weakly tried to pull her hands away.

                I nurse turned to me looking nervous. She couldn’t look me in the eyes as she spoke to me. “She’s very malnourished. But before we continue anything she needs to be bathed so her wounds don’t get contaminated.”

                “Let’s leave the room, Saeran. We can come back in when you’re finished?” Saeyoung asked the nurse who nodded timidly. I, however, didn’t move from my seat. I had to see the damage her body was in. “Saeran, don’t be a pervert.” He said before pulling me out of the room.

                “The fuck is your problem?!” I said as the door closed behind us, shrugging his hands off me.

                Grabbing my arms, he looked at me. “Look, I know you’re worried but you need to let them do their jobs! We can’t help her until they do.” Sighing, I knew he was right. I leaned against the wall wondering what I should do next. “Hey. Saeran, you okay?” He looked at me with genuine concern.

                “She doesn’t remember me.” I said quietly, looking away from him. “I have to get her to remember me again.” Saeyoung stood I silent disbelief. Placing his hand over his mouth he looked off into the distance as he thought.

                While Saeyoung had headed home to fill in Alexa and everyone else, I paced back and forth in front of her door. Once it finally opened the staff filed out and allowed me back in. New bandages were wrapped around her wrists, an IV drip was attached to her hand, and she had her on oxygen. With all the dirt and grime washed away, she looked even thinner than I had originally thought.

                I sat next to her and took her hand in mine, her fingers twitching slightly. Raising her hand, I placed it against my cheek. I sighed softly when I felt a warmth to her skin. I knew her body would get better before her mind would. I would make her remember me. She didn’t give up on me, and no matter how pathetic I seemed, I wasn’t going to give up on her. I chuckled I remember the words I had told her the morning she had a hangover. “I like a challenge, ______. You’ll remember me and you’ll tell me you love me again.” Her fingers twitched again as I talked to her. Smiling I kissed the back of her hand.


	42. Chapter 42

                I slowly opened my eyes and blinked rapidly at the bright room. _Sunlight?_ Sitting up slowly my body didn’t feel as heavy as I remembered and my muscles didn’t cry out in protest as I moved. Looking down at myself I saw I was dressed in a clean hospital gown. I held my hands out in front of me, and saw clean bandages on my wrists. I gently touched the catheter for an IV still in one of my hands. _How did I get here?_ Pulling back the blankets I put my feet on the cold floor. Trying to stand up my legs shook unsteadily. I took one step before my knees gave out on me and I fell.

                The door suddenly flew open and I heard someone rush over to me and helped me off the floor. “What are you doing?!” _A man’s voice?_ Looking up I saw light colored eyes looking back at me. Standing up I tried to back away from him. Tripping over my own feet I started to fall again. I felt an arm wrap around my waist and I was suddenly much closer to those mint-colored eyes.

                My body froze as he stared down at me and he sighed. “You have to take things slow.” He said quietly before hooking his other arm behind my knees and picking me up. Walking over to the bed he set me back down. “I’m happy to see you awake though.” _Did I know him? Why was he talking so kindly to me?_ When he put his hand under my jaw I flinched slightly as he turned my face towards his. “The color is back in your face.”

                “A-are you a doctor?” _Maybe that’s why he’s talking the way he is._ He frowned slightly at my question and looked away from me. He looked so familiar and his face giving me a mix of emotions. I was about to ask another question when a nurse walked in.

                “Oh good you’re awake. You gave us quite a scare we didn’t think you were going to wake up.” I looked back at the man as his body flinched at her comment. “Anyways take this.” She held a cup out to me and my eyes widened as I saw the liquid swirl inside. Screaming I swatted the cup out of her hands. The nurse held a hand to her mouth in surprise she looked at me.

                I held my head as I started panting as she knelt down to pick up the cup. “I won’t take it! I won’t!” I screamed. Tears began to well up in my eyes. Unexpectedly the man took me in his arms and ran his fingers through my hair. Grabbing his clothes, I tried to pull him away from me. “Noooo I won’t take it!”

                He forced my cheek against this shoulder started to rub my back. “You don’t have to take it, _____.” My body shivered on its own accord when he said my name. “That’s it.” He whispered as my body relaxed against his. _He’s warm. Why do I feel so at ease with a stranger?_ He seemed so attentive to me, maybe he really wasn’t a stranger.

                A few moments later another man walked in. He looked familiar as well, with his red hair and multicolored glasses. A convenience store came to mind. My head pulsed painfully. “Ice cream,” I whispered as I held my head in my hands. “I was buying ice cream, but why was I getting ice cream?” I looked over at the red-headed man who smiled happily back at me.

                He looked at the man still holding me. “Saeran, that’s a step in the right direction at least.” _Saeran…_ I sounded his name out in my mind as I glanced up at him. He was looking back at the other man and I took the opportunity to look closely at his face. _Saeran._ Fuzzy images raced through my mind and I suddenly felt nauseous.

                Fighting through the nausea, I tried to push one of the images to the front of my mind. It wasn’t clear but I saw a partially silhouetted person. A man maybe? He held up his hand and there were red crescent shapes on his hands. _Maybe that man was this Saeran person?_  Reaching out I grabbed his hand and flipped it over in mine. He quickly turned his gaze back to me and watched me intently as I ran my fingers over the back of his hand. “No marks…” I whispered. I looked up at him as his hand trembled in mine. The pain in my head intensified as he looked back at me. Letting go of his hand I pressed both my hands to my head. _It…it hurts!_ The room was spinning and the last thing I heard was my name being called out before passing out.


	43. Chapter 43

                My eyes opened as the door to my room did. The room was dyed in orange and pink hues that came with the sunrise. The person who had entered was that same man from yesterday. _What was his name again…Saeran?_ He smiled as he held up a plastic bag that was weighted down with whatever was inside. He walked over to the chair by the bed and sat down. Reaching into the bag he pulled out two canned drinks and placed them on the table next to us. I silently looked from the cans to him, not making any movement to touch them.

                “If you don’t start drinking things on your own you’ll have to keep that in.” He said pointing to the IV catheter in my hand. I held my hand up and looked at it. _I really want it out but…_ I looked at the cans suspiciously. He watched me intently before sighing. Grabbing one of the cans he pulled the tab and popped the seal. He must’ve unintentionally shook them too much while they were in the bag because the can he’d open spurted everywhere.

                I covered my mouth trying not to laugh as he flicked his hand back and forth to get the liquid off his hand. He glanced over at me but quickly looked away, his lips pursed as if in a pout and his cheeks were slightly pink. “Here.” He said as he held the opened can out to me after clearing his throat. I shrunk back away from his outstretched hand. Groaning in frustration he put the can to his lips and started drinking.

                My eyes widened as he stood up and put a knee on the bed to lean in towards me. His eyes kept me frozen in place as he put a hand to the back of my head as he gently pushed the rim of the can to my lips. This felt familiar and yet very different. He held my gaze as he slowly tilted the can up. A sweetness of the drink covered my tongue and the fizzing bubbles tickled the roof of my mouth.

                Still holding the back of my head he placed the can back on the table before turned back to me and rubbed the pad of his thumb along my bottom lip. Putting his fingers under my chin he tilted my face up and started to lean in closer to me. I closed my eyes tightly as pain surged in my head. “It hurts!” I whispered.

                I felt him pull me into his arms and press my cheek to his chest. I heard his heartbeat beating as fast as mine was. Putting my hand on his arm I gripped the sleeve of his jacket. _Why does my heart beat so fast around him?_ Every time I tried to remember anything my head felt like it was splitting in two. I gripped his sleeve tighter. _I don’t remember you but I don’t want you to leave._ I felt my eyes prickle as tears began to form.

                The room was bright with the afternoon sun when I woke up again. Sitting up slowly I jumped a little when I saw that Saeran had fallen asleep as well. He had folded his arms and was using them as a pillow on the edge of the bed. Carefully laying on my side I took in the sight of him sleeping. Reaching out I brushed some of his hair out of his face, a faint smile forming on his lips. _So that’s what he looks like when asleep._ I shook my head at the thought, fully expecting my head to pulse with pain. I held my hands to my head only to realize I was just fine.

                I stared at him in wonder. _You’re important to me aren’t you?_ Sitting back up, I scooted to the bottom of the bed and carefully walked to the window. I stared up at the clouds that blew across the sky. _Please. I want to remember._ Sighing I rested my elbow on the windowsill and put my chin in my hand. I casually looked down at the area below my window. My body stiffened as I saw a concrete bench and I remembered that I used to sit there and play guitar.

                Turning around I saw that Saeran was still asleep, so as carefully and quietly as I could, I walked to the door. The door still squeaked even though I opened it slowly, glancing over my shoulder I saw Saeran’s back evenly rising and falling. I breathed a sigh of relief thought not really sure why. A nurse walked up to me and I held a finger up to my lips before she could say anything. “Can you help me outside?” I whispered to her and she smiled softly to me before taking my arm to help me walk.

                I ran my fingers along the bench before sitting down. _That’s right, I would sit here._ I tapped my hands on either side of me. Something was wrong though, this didn’t feel right. Looking at my surroundings I felt confused. I didn’t normally sit facing this way. Getting up I sat back down, this time facing the other direction. I positioned my hands as if I was holding a guitar and played some invisible chords, this was familiar to me. I remembered this.

                The hair on the back of my neck tingled as I felt something. Looking over my shoulder I saw Saeran looking back at me, and he looked very angry. I tried to smile back at him before facing forward again, it felt like the right thing I should’ve done. Looking back up towards my window I saw that he was gone. _This too, was familiar, wasn’t it?_ A dull pain filled my head but it wasn’t as bad as it had been before.


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran POV

                I was outside her room talking to one of the doctors when I heard a noise coming from inside _____’s room. Quickly sliding the door open I saw her on the floor trying to push herself back up. “What are you doing?!” _You idiot!_ Rushing over to her I helped her to her feet. My heart raced when I saw her eyes for the first time in days. Fear flashed in her eyes as she tried to step away from me, only to trip over her own feet and start to fall again. My arm instinctively shot out and wrapped around her and pulled her close to me.

                Her body felt stiff as a board as I held her. “You need to take it slow.” I sighed as she looked at me with unsure eyes. She hasn’t used her legs for a few days, and who knows how long she was in those shackles before I got there. If they put her in them almost immediately then it would’ve been over a week since she’s properly used her legs. It makes sense that she’d be a little unsteady.

                Setting her back onto the bed I gently grabbed her chin and looked at her face. The color was returning but her eyes showed no hint of recognition. “A-are you a doctor?” My chest clenched tightly at her question. Still no sign of her memory returning. They had pushed the IV as much as possible to help detox her body. We weren’t sure what she had been given it was a different concoction than mine. So far it only seemed like the main thing was memory loss.

                I stepped away from her as a nurse entered the room and said that they didn’t think she’d wake up. For the past few days I hadn’t wanted to even entertain that thought. I wished I hadn’t caught her laying on the floor but I was happy she was now awake. My body jerked as _____ screamed and knocked the cup of water out of the nurse’s hand.

                Taking her in my arms she tried to pull me away from her, until I said her name. I gently rubbed her back as she started to relax against me. That was when Saeyoung entered the room. I flash of recognition came across her face as she looked him. I looked back at him feeling a little jealous that she remembered him if even a little. She had whispered something about ice cream before holding her head tightly and passing out. I laid her back against the pillows on the bed. Saeyoung put his hand on my shoulder, his eyes widening as my body shook under his hand. “Saeran, it’s ok. She’ll come back.” _Yes, I know she will._

The next morning, I stopped at every convenience store between her home and the hospital. Finally finding the same drinks she had gotten I hurried to the hospital. She opened her eyes as she heard the door open and I smiled at her. _Thank God she woke up again._ Sitting next to her I pulled the cans out of the bag and placed them on the table. She looked at them and back at me without making any move to even touch them. Sighing I picked up the sweet one and pulled the tab. Forgetting that the drinks were carbonated it exploded over my hand when the seal broke.

                I shook my hand and glanced at her. She was covering her mouth and her shoulders shook, obviously laughing at what happened. Feeling heat rush to my cheeks I held out the can and looked away from her. I groaned in frustration when she backed away from me. Putting the can to my lips I drank half of the drink while she watched. Standing up I placed my knee on the bed and held her head in my other hand. Placing the can against her lips I gently tilted it up. While keeping her eyes lock on mine she drank what was left.

                Putting the empty can on the table I turned back to her. Her eyes were still wide as she looked back at me. I rubbed my thumb across the plumpness of her lower lip. Having the sudden urge to kiss her I leaned toward her even more. I cursed myself when she whispered about pain and quickly held her to me instead. _Don’t push me away, _____._ As if answering my silent prayer, she put her hand on my arm, before tightly gripping the sleeve to my jacket. I held her close until her breathing evened out and I knew she was asleep. Laying her down I folded my arms and placed them on the bed.

                With my eyes still closed, I reached out my hand and felt around in front of me. I shot to my feet when I realized the bed was empty. “Where the fuck did she go?!” I frantically looked around the room as I took long strides to the bathroom. Flinging the door open I my heart dropped when I saw it was empty as well. Slamming the door, I was about to rush out of the room when I spotted something outside.

                Walking over to the window I saw _____ sitting at the bench she was when I’d first seen her. She looked confused before getting up and sitting back down facing the other way. I watched as she pretended to hold a guitar and pretended to strum. My fists clenched at my sides as I glared at her. _Was she trying to piss me off by leaving without saying anything?_ I saw her shoulders stiffen as she looked behind herself and up at me. I ground my teeth as she tried to smile at me before turning her back to me. Turning swiftly on my heels I left the room to go get her. _Once you get your memory back, be prepared _____. Don’t think you can worry me like this, and not have any consequences._


	45. Chapter 45

                I looked up as I heard gravel grinding under someone’s feet. Looking in the direction of the sound, I saw Saeran walking towards me, anger shining brightly in his eyes. _I’ve seen that look before. I know I have!_ Despite the pain in my head I stood up. On their own accord my legs unsteadily started to move towards him. His pace increased as mine did. “You idiot! Stop trying to run!” I jumped into his outstretched arms, cradling his head against my chest. His arms wrapped around me as he held me against him. _I don’t care if my head hurts, don’t be mad Saeran. They’ll take you away!_

                Closing my eyes tightly I willed myself to stay conscious against the pain. _I can’t pass out. He needs me or else they’ll take him away!_ Sweat started to bead on my forehead as I placed my cheek on top of his head. My fingers trembled as I gently pet his hair. “It’s ok now.” I said quietly. _I will protect you._ I felt his arms tighten around me. My vision was starting to blur on me as I tried to hold onto him. _Don’t take him…Don’t take him._ I felt my strength fading fast and I felt his shoulders shake slightly. I slowly closed my eyes and felt my body go limp.

                

My eyes opened slowly at the sound of evil laughter. _My wrists hurt. Where am I?_ My eyes strained against the darkness as my heart pounded in my chest. “He’s not coming; you must forget him.” My body shivered at the sound of his voice. _Who wasn’t coming?_ I felt added weight on my wrists and I screamed out in pain. “This is what he does to you. Is he really worth remembering?” _No…No! You’re doing this not him!_ I was bought here to this place. The evil laugh faded and my wrists were suddenly free. Pushing away from the wall I walked into the darkness. They wanted me to forget someone but who was it. I felt hands on my shoulders and I was being pushed back into a tight space. “Nooo! Please noooo!” Hearing the wooden lid of a box closing above me, I pounded it with fists. Water was splashing in from the darkness above me. I coughed as water entered my mouth _I can’t breathe! I’m going to drown!_ “______! Wake up!” _Someone is calling me._ I reached up into the darkness confused at being able to extend my arm. “______!” _I have to reach further!_ I sighed with relief as my hand was grabbed.

 

                My eyes shot open and I looked down at my hand which held someone else’s, our fingers laced. My gaze trailed up the person’s arm and my eyes filled with tears when Saeran looked back at me. I flung myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around me as the chair tilted back. He quickly leaned forward to right the chair so we didn’t fall back. My body shivered against him. He held me just as tightly back. “______...” My body twitched as he said my name.

 _He was the one calling me?_ Pulling back, I reached up to gently brushed his bangs out of his face. Holding his face in his hands I looked into his eyes. “Why can’t I remember…” I whispered resting my forehead against his. _I want to remember why you’re important to me._ I felt one of his hands glide up my back and into my hair. Entangling his fingers in my hair, he closed his eyes and quietly apologized to me. “Wha—“ My eyes widened as I felt his lips touch mine. My lips parted in a gasp and his tongue slid between my lips. _What…but why?!_

                 I pushed my hands against his shoulders but he just responded by tightening his arms around me. “S-Saeran…?” Pulling at my hair he tilted my head back and began to nip at my neck. I bit my lip as I looked up at the ceiling. This felt familiar but my head didn’t hurt. A vision of wine being poured into a glass flashed behind my eyes. My hands that were pushing against his shoulders now gripped the fabric of his clothes. Tilting my head back down he pressed his lips against mine again. _I-I like it…_ He suddenly pulled away when I started to kiss him back.

                 I gazed into his eyes, my breathing quickened by the kiss. Standing up he placed me on the bed and apologized again. “I’ll…go get you something to drink.” He said quickly before leaving my room. I touched my lips with my fingertips as I watched him leave. _This was the first kiss._ I shook my head as fuzzy visions flashed in my mind. _No, that wasn’t right. We’ve kissed before._ Hugging myself gently, rubbed my shoulder roughly as if there was something there that could help me remember.


	46. Chapter 46

                I was sitting on my bed in the hospital when a doctor came into the room. “Miss, at this point we’ve done all we can to help you. We understand your memory hasn’t come back yet, but other than that you seem healthy. Your wrists shouldn’t need any more emergency attention, just clean them and replace the bandages daily.” He looked down at the chart in his hands. “The tests we’ve administered show nothing wrong. With time your memories should return to you. Since it only seems to be short term memory loss there is no real worry at this point. We will have to discharge you. If something happens do come back in.”

                “Oh. Yes, doctor.” Was all I could manage. With a nod he left my room. I was happy nothing was physically wrong with but there was a sadness as well. I knew where I lived but did Saeran know? Would I ever see him again? My chest contracted painfully. One of the nurses came into the room holding some plain looking clothes for me to wear home.

                “I’m sorry we couldn’t keep you any longer. But being surrounded by things you know may help with your memory recovery.” She smiled sweetly at me. “When you feel you’re better maybe you could come play for the children again.” She said before she left me to change.

                “Right, the children.” I said to myself. It’s been a while since I’d played for them. Changing into the clothes given to me I looked out the window at the bench. That bench is where my memories started. Maybe coming back to it would help me remember too. I walked out of the room and looked back before closing the door. “Could you tell Saeran?” I asked the nurse I’d stopped. Her eyes darted back and forth and she nodded slightly. I watched her walk down the hallway.

                I walked down the street to my house. Looking up at the door I thought for a second. “Why would the doctors send me home when I had nothing with me? I don’t have my wallet or keys.” Walking up the steps I reached for the doorknob. _I’ll only be able to get in unless it’s already unlocked._ Closing my eyes, I twisted the knob and the door opened. “Well that’s good, I suppose.”

                I walked into my home and felt an instant unease. Looking around I saw the place in shambles. _What happened here?_ Walking further into my home I heard rustling coming from the room where I would write music. Glancing into the room I saw a familiar face. “Airi?” I said as I opened the door.

                Her back straightened as she looked back at me, a wild look in her eyes. I walked up to her, tears in my eyes. As soon as I got close enough she raised her hand and slapped me across the face. Shocked, I held a hand to the side of my face. “You think you’re hot shit don’t you!” I blinked rapidly looking confused. “What did you do to make him want you, over me? I mean look at you!” She reached out and grabbed my hair pulling me roughly to her. “You don’t remember anything do you?” I saw an evil smiled spread across her face. “I bet it would cause you intense pain if you remembered by force!”

                “Well take a seat, _____!” She pushed me back against the chair in the room, my back hit the chair with such force it took my breath away. She cackled evilly as she began to explain everything to me. Starting with her never being my real friend. I began to pant at the white hot pain that searing my mind. I’ve heard all this before. A tattoo flashed before my eyes. _An eye?_ My mind raced as Airi continued to talk. Grabbing my hair, she pulled my head back painfully.  “What makes you so fucking special?!” Slapping me with her other hand she sighed. “I’m glad there’s still at least one doctor that will follow orders.”

                “You had them send me home?” I whispered, hurt apparent in my voice.

                “Of course. This is my revenge, you fucking bitch! I couldn’t wait for any of your memories to return, it wouldn’t be as painful for you.” She tossed my head to the side roughly. She sat in a chair across from me and crossed her legs. “There still more I have to say about that knight in shining armor of yours.” She proceeded to tell me about Saeran’s involvement with Mint Eye. My head was splitting in two and I was starting to pass out when she threw iced water in my face. “Oh you can’t sleep now I’ve got sooo much more to tell you!” She said, ending with a maniacal laugh.

                As she continued to tell me about Saeran, my mind fought against me. Every time I would start to pass out she would splash me with cold water to shock me back to full consciousness. I fell to the floor holding my head as memories came flooding back to me. _I…I remember._ I held the sides of my head as if to keep it from splitting open. The pain seemed to spread through all the nerves in my body and my body shook in response.

                “Oh good, it looks like you remember.” As I laid there holding my head she left the room only to come back with a knife from the kitchen. “Now that you remember maybe I’ll damage that pretty face of yours. He’ll walk away for real this time! And this time you’ll remember everything and have your heart ripped out as he walks away from you!” Her eyes looked wild with insanity as she held the knife over her head.


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeran POV

                I leaned against the side of the hospital building, and took a long drag of the cigarette I had in between my fingers. “Saeran!” _Oh great._ I wasn’t really in the mood to see my brother. I was bringing the cigarette to my mouth again when he swatted it out of my hands. “Smoking is bad for you!”

                “Staring at a computer screen 24/7 is bad for you too.” I retorted sharply as I took the pack of cigarettes out of my pocket.

                “What’s up with you?” He asked as he snatched the pack out of my hand. “Why aren’t you with _____ right now?” He looked at me accusingly. Sighing, I shrugged away from the building and started to walk to the parking lot.

                “Two reasons. One, she’s asleep. And two, I need to clear my head.” I raked a hand roughly through my hair. She started to push me away but then changed her mind and clung to me, if I hadn’t left it would turn into something more intimate than I wanted right now.

                “Why do you need to clear your head?” He said, whirling me around to face him.

                “She had a nightmare and when she saw me she flung herself at me. She straddled me and clung to me then…” I paused to take a deep breath to calm the pulsing in my ears. Saeyoung leaned closer to me, moving his hand in a ‘and….’ gesture. “And then I kissed her.”

                “Are her memories back?” He said, swatting my shoulder with the back of his hand.

                “No they aren’t. I’m going home, I need a drink.” I said turning my back to him again and walking once more to the parking lot.

 

                I paced back and forth in my room, taking out my phone every few seconds to look at the time. Visiting hours had already started but what if she didn’t want to see me? I’d have little to no choice to leave. I could’ve very well set back the progress I believe I’d made with her memories. “Fuck it.” I said, looking at my phone one last time before picking up a pair of car keys.

                I walked to her room wondering how she would react seeing me again. I opened the door to see her room completely empty and ready for the next patient. Turning around I grabbed the nearest nurse. “Where’s ______?” I tried my hardest to ask in a calmed voice. I knew the staff was still wary of me.

                “The doctors discharged her.” She said quickly trying to back away from me.

                “What doctors in their right mind would discharge someone who came in with nothing on them but the clothes on their back?!” She jumped back rushed away from me. “Shit!” I rushed out of the hospital and started to sprint to her home, the afternoon traffic would just slow the car down. _It’s the only place she be able to go._

                Practically jumping up the small flight of stairs I opened the door. If it’s unlocked that means that she got inside. My sigh of relief hitched in my throat as I heard a laugh I knew for a fact wasn’t _____’s. Quickly walking down the hall I came to a stop right outside the room where the voice came from. “He’ll walk away from you for real this time! And this time, you’ll remember everything and have your heart ripped out as he walks away from you!” _That voice!_

                “Airi!” I called out her name and her hand froze in the air as she looked at me. I glanced down at _____ on the floor, her body shivering as she held her head. “What did you do?”

                “She remembers everything! I forced her to remember! Oh you should’ve seen it she was in so much pain!” She threw her head back and laughed loudly. She looked at me and pointed the knife in my direction. “This is _your_ fault! What’s so fucking special about that bitch anyways?” She said, her empty hand gesturing towards _____.

                I looked at her with indifferent eyes. “I understand you now. You’re just a whore who wants what everyone else has.” Her eyes faltered as her arm shook. “I have no interest in women like you.” With a scream she lunged at me. I barely moved out of the way of the knife and she ended up slicing through my jacket and into my arm. Reaching out I grabbed her wrist, twisting it until she lost her grip and the knife clattered to the floor. “I think you forgot what I told you. I didn’t kill you then but I told you if I saw your face again I wouldn’t be so generous.” Her face visibly paled as she looked at me.  _I won’t let what you did slide this time._


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter. It's longer than the others because I couldn't find a stopping point to start another chapter.

                My body twitched as the pain I felt subsided little by little. _I remember…I remember everything._ Saeran is important to me because… _I love him._ He seemed so sadistic and so angry but somewhere along the way he weaved his way deep in my heart. I didn’t know what he felt for me but I knew that I couldn’t let him go. The pulsing pain in my head was becoming more bearable as I heard his voice. _He’s here._ Gritting through what pain remained, I opened my eyes.

                My eyes welled up with tears, when I saw his face. I knew I saw him every day in the hospital but with my memories back it had felt like I hadn’t seen him in a long time. My eyes widened as I saw Airi lunge at him with a knife in her hand. Blood streamed from the small cut on his arm as he grabbed her wrist and twisted it. My body felt heavy as I tried to get up off the floor. Their voices sounded muffled and distant even though they were right next to me.

                Smiling at her he threw her back against the wall and put his hands around her throat. _No, Saeran don’t!_ Getting to my hands and knees I stopped to take some deep breaths. I refused to pass out now. Using the chair next to me as leverage I hauled myself to my feet. The room spun for a minute and I was seeing double of everything. With one hand out to steady myself and the other pressed to my head I walked towards Saeran’s back.

                “I should’ve just killed you the last time.” I heard him say through the ringing in my ears. Reaching out I wrapped my arms around him from behind. I felt his body stiffen as I rested my cheek against his back. Letting go of Airi, she put a hand to her throat and coughed as she slumped down to the floor.

                “Don’t do it Saeran! It’ll only hurt you in the end. Everything is ok now!” I held him tighter as he continued to stand still. I closed my eyes and sighed as he covered his hands over mine. I looked up as he turned slightly to look down at me. The look in his eyes made my breath hitch. So many emotions were reflected in those mint-green eyes. I reached one of my hands up to touch his cheek as I smiled at him. He closed his eyes and leaned into my hand. The next instant he had my face in his hands and had brought his lips down on mine.

                It wasn’t demanding or possessive but I felt his passion behind it. I gently put my hands over his as he pulled his lips away. Leaning in once more to kiss my forehead he turned back to Airi who was still slumped on the floor. She squinted her eyes as she looked up at me. “You’re disgusting. There’s nothing special about you but pretty words.”

                Saeran took a step towards her and was about to say something when the front door burst open and people wearing all black rushed inside. Guns at the ready they filed into the room and took aim at Airi. The phone in Saeran’s pocket began to ring and he moved to answer it. Curiously I leaned in to try to listen to who was on the other line.

                “I saw you on camera running frantically towards her house so I made a call.” I heard Saeyoung on the other end of the line. “Didn’t know what to expect so I sent backup…again.” The more Saeyoung talked the more annoyed Saeran looked. Hanging up on his brother he roughly shoved the phone back in his pocket.

                “So annoying.” He said gruffly. I couldn’t help but laugh at the pouting face that Saeran made. He looked at me, glaring slightly.

                “Why are you acting like Saeyoung just swept in and stole all the glory?” Saeran’s back straightened as he stared at me.

                “Shut up!” He said before looking back at Airi. “There was intervention this time. But third time’s the charm, right?” He smiled at her as if to make a promise.

                One of the men holstered his gun to help her up off the floor. Screaming hysterically, she grabbed the holstered gun and pointed it at Saeran. Jumping in front of him, my arms stretched out to my sides I stared at her. “Why?!” She screamed at me.

                “Because I lo—“ I was cut short as his hand covered my mouth and I was roughly pulled behind him. She screamed again as the men detained her and carried her away. Pulling his hand away from my mouth I glared up at him. “What was that for?!”

                He reached out and tangled his hand in my hair. Pulling me roughly against him he pulled my hair to tilt my head back. “You were about to confess in front of everyone! I’m not often greedy with the things I want in my life, but you are an exception. And I refused to hear what you were about to say while everyone was still in this room.” Leaning forward his eyes glinted devilishly. His lips were a breath’s distance away from mine. “Now. Say it again.”

                My heart thundered in my ears as he held onto me, the look in his eyes giving my stomach butterflies. “I love you, Saeran.” I could barely finish before his lips crashed against mine. He kissed me as if he was devouring my soul. Once he finally pulled back my breath was coming in short pants. Looking up at him, I heard a low growl before he grabbed my hand and took long strides to my bedroom.

                Once inside he locked the door and started to take off his jacket. The look in his eyes had changed to the look of a predator that had its prey in its sights. Starting to back away from him my heart thundered in my chest as he stepped towards me slowly he removed his shirt. The back of my legs hit the bed and I fell back. He smiled at me as I scrambled to the furthest corner away from him. My face flushed as he undid the button on his pants. Grabbing my ankle, he pulled me so I was flat on my back. Lacing his fingers with mine he held my arms out as he hovered over me. He pressed his body against mine as he leaned in to whisper in my ear. “I’m not stopping this time. From this moment on, you’re completely mine.” He locked his lips with mine and I surrendered to the sweet pleasures only he could give me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for everyone who has taken the time to read every chapter!
> 
> I have plans to (most likely) do some one shot stories of events beyond this story ^^. I am open to suggestions on what you'd like to see happen. You can comment here or on my tumblr, FantasyImmortal.
> 
> Thanks again everyone! You're awesome!


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